Haha, OK. Now we know that history is fucking with us.
You don't call a doll "little miss no-name" unless you want it to steal children's breath while they sleep. This 1965 Hasbro toy, designed in conjunction with Azezel, Who Rules Over Despair, came into being when someone realized that the most powerful marketing tool wasn't desire, but humanity's own overpowering desire to seek their own destruction.
Baby Booker eMuseum
Don't touch her hand. DON'T TOUCH HER HAND.
Dressed in burlap, with eyes that have seen through time, weeping for all the atrocities she must inflict upon you, Little Miss No-Name came complete with creepy little poem and presumably some very detailed goat-sacrifice instructions. For some reason, murderously staring dolls with no names used to be like Pokemon back in the day. Check out these little beauties from 1940:
"Just kidding. Our names are Death, Destroyer of Childhood."
Yes, buy them and name them. There's no way that your material desire and the spark of human creativity will bring them to life so they can steal your blood. That would be ridiculous.
Ridiculously fun, right, kids?!
Tracy dedicates this and all her articles in memory of her brother. He is missed.
For old toys that need rebooting, check out 35 Updates to Classic Childhood Toys (Too Awesome to Exist).
Related Reading: There's a secret conspiracy hiding behind every 90s toy commercial. Discover it here. Oh hey, and did you know rich kids get to play with the BB-version of a goddamn minigun. And if you love crazy foreign versions of American toys, you'll love Robertcop.