6

Elephant Sharks

Uniprot / Tudiscovery

Most sharks are sleek, ravenous killing machines. And then there's the elephant shark. He seems less like one of "nature's perfect predators" and more like what happens when fish cousins mate. He's got kind of a mentally disabled Dumbo look going on. He's so far from terrifying, he's almost comforting. But there is one area where elephant sharks excel in horror: their eggs.

All shark eggs are pretty weird, but elephant sharks produce something that looks like the crap H.R. Giger would take after a heroin balloon popped in his intestines.

Project Noah, Fossils Online

5

Pandas

Ablestock.com/AbleStock.com/Getty Images

Everyone knows pandas are cute and cuddly -- they're like giant stuffed animals. Even if you objectively know that they're immensely powerful bears that could dismember you in a heartbeat, there's something about that patchy face that says he wouldn't mean it, or at least would feel bad afterward. What most people fail to realize is that delightful pandas don't start out that way. They're not the fluffy, black-and-white ball of adorableness you've seen in cute gifs and conservation posters. They're more like somebody spliced creepy little baby arms into those worms from Dune.

National Geographic / China Newsphoto / Reuters / Corbis

4

Owl Moths

Juraj Macko 2009

Meet the owl moth. Harmless to most anything that isn't a blend of nutrient-enriched fluid (which comprises most of its diet), this unassuming creature couldn't offend any sensibilities, no matter how delicate. Why, it was most likely even more harmless and inoffensive as a baby ...

josef hlasek

3

The Common Frog

PhotoObjects.net/PhotoObjects.net/Getty Images

2

Zebrafish

Azul

Here's a zebrafish!

That's ... well, that sure is a fish, isn't it? That's about as fish-shaped as you can get, yes sir. And here are the babies:

Jurgen Berger & Mahendra Sonawane

It's like somebody turned a Pokemon inside out. You ever give a small chew toy to a big dog? This is what you pick up from the lawn the next morning.

Scientists love these little guys because, in addition to being genetically pliable and easy to care for, zebrafish have Wolverine-level regenerative abilities that allow them to regrow their fins, tails, hearts, and even brains. Yes, the zebrafish knows your first impulse upon seeing it is murder -- hot, steamy murder for the thing that should not be -- and it's cool with that. It's evolved to counter that response. Go ahead. Do your worst. It pretty much cannot die. Although it clearly wants to.

Dr. David McCarthy, colored by Annie Cavanagh

1

Keas

Robin Bush / Oxford Scientific / Getty

The kea is a fairly exotic mountain-dwelling parrot from New Zealand, best known for the bright coloring on its wings and its propensity for intelligence (the kea can even solve simple puzzles). And since it's so goddamn smart, the first question we'd like to ask it is: What's the deal with your terrible babies?

Action Press / Rex Features

Jesus! It looks like it wants to puke just thinking about itself. Yes, the beautiful multicolored genius parrot started life as this abomination, which looks more like something your cat coughed up than a living thing. Much like Neville Longbottom, puberty is apparently very, very kind to the kea.

Rex Features

According to experts, the reason the kea is listed as a "vulnerable" species is "mainly due to mammals which are able to get into its nests to steal eggs and young." This implies that kea mothers are just as repulsed by these things as we are, leaving their nests unprotected while they head off to the local parrot bar to get plastered and forget about their ungodly spawn for an hour or two.

Follow E. Reid Ross at Twitter at @ereidross and at Man Cave Daily.

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Related Reading: Hey, check out this Cracked video about adorable animals with secret dark sides. If you're more interested in animals who throw a middle finger at the rulebook, check out these flying damn snakes. Oh, and just because we like you here's a lizard dressed as Spider-man.