The results were exactly what you think they were -- Swain began passing fecal matter and feculent gas through his urethra. That's right -- Swain was pooping and ripping farts out of his d******e. In addition to the agonizing torture of squeezing diarrhea through his wang, Swain was at a tremendous risk of serious infection, as well as losing all belief in the existence of a just and benevolent Creator.
We're pretty sure God gives you a pass in that situation.
Swain had to suffer through two weeks of boiling dickfarts before the mishap was corrected. Once his bodily functions were back to normal, Swain filed a lawsuit against the doctors who performed the reverse colostomy. The doctors maintain that the mishap wasn't their fault, insisting that Swain's terrible ordeal was an unfortunate result of his condition, although we hasten to note that "your colon may staple itself to your bladder" is not one of the documented symptoms of diverticulitis.