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A French Writer's Statue Becomes a Sex Symbol
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Victor Noir was a 19th century French journalist who was buried in the famous Pere Lachaise Cemetery after being shot down by Prince Pierre Bonaparte, Napoleon's great-nephew. According to some accounts, Noir delivered some top-notch political criticism by way of slapping Napoleon in the face, the prince then having no choice but to blow him away in self-defense. But most people don't remember Victor Noir for the brazen way he died. These days, he's simply known as "that corpse with the giant wang."
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"Zut alors! Is that a blunderbuss in your pocket?!"
For reasons that can only be speculated upon, the sculptor who fashioned the statue on Noir's grave depicted him lying dead with a downright impressive crotch bulge. And thanks to the bulge, Noir took on a whole new persona in death that most men sadly never possess in life (Internet comedy writers notwithstanding): that of a full-fledged fertility god. According to legend, a woman kissing the statue's lips and giving its crotch a vigorous rub will find a husband by the end of the year, enjoy a better sex life, or even become pregnant. The legend is so popular that, while the rest of the statue has developed a greenish patina, the lips and crotch bulge look shiny and new.
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A little nosey-nosey and kissy-chin have proven inevitable as well.
At one point officials erected (sorry) a fence around the statue in fear of long-term damage from all the rubbing, but the fence has since been dismantled in response to protests by throngs of women who felt they were being denied their God-given right to some bronze-hard effigy action.
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