Chinese censorship isn't exactly news. Probably because the anchorman who thought it was is now soldering microchips at the Apple Internment Camp.
But the country is getting a bit better. Documentarian Justin Rowlatt, for example, was allowed to film in China recently, even covering something as taboo as economic inequality. The government was fine with that. They were not, however, willing to discuss their toilets.
Nicolas Asfouri / AFP / Getty
"Poo along, sir. Nothing to pee here."
Apparently toilets are an international issue: China's poop-holes had been harshly criticized for their unsanitary nature by the World Toilet Organization, which is hilariously an actual thing. When Rowlatt jokingly asked about the controversy, his guide suddenly got serious and, forgive the pun, that's when shit got real.
Goh Chai Hin / AFP / Getty
This man's bodily waste is actually the cleanest thing in the room.
The official government minder for the documentary said that if Rowlatt tried to report about the toilets, his entire project would be shut down. But of course, the second you tell somebody they can't talk about something, that's all they want to talk about. Rowlatt immediately reported on Toilet Terror: China's Brown Menace to the BBC once the documentary was finished.
So how bad, exactly, do the toilets have to be for an institute that governs poop containers to formally object? We have no idea. Because it isn't just foreign documentarians who can't talk about toilets -- friggin' nobody discusses the john in China. Internet censors also purged references to a movement called Occupy Men's Toilets, a campaign for the government to install more women's bathrooms, because it mentioned the state of the crappers. Seriously, China's toilets are like Fight Club: You do not talk about it.
And if it's your first trip, you have to shit.
Peter Parks / AFP / Getty
"Waaaay ahead of you."
Yosomono writes for Gaijinass.com, and you should like their Facebook page. Follow Patrick McCarty on Twitter. Robert is a columnist for Freakin' Awesome Network and would like for you to follow him on Twitter. Richie Ryan occasionally works the wood. You can also follow him on Twitter if you find that sort of thing entertaining. Richie is most definitely not a citizen of Australia.
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