That's right: In 2010, Professor G was caught returning from a European vacation with young Jo-Vanni Roman, whom he had hired via Rentboy.com, a website that specializes in helping its users ... rent boys, we guess?
Just so there's no misunderstanding: According to in-depth research that we at Cracked totally outsourced (really), in order to access the personal profiles of those offering their services on Rentboy.com, you have to: accept the terms and conditions; scroll through a homepage filled with looping videos of young men busily rubbing various parts of their anatomies; choose your "service" (sugar daddy, masseur, or rentboy); and choose your location. Jo-Vanni's profile was on the second page of the Miami results.
Nope. Nothing sexually suggestive here at all.
In what seems to have been the penultimate update to his personal website (the ultimate one being the announcement of his resignation from NARTH to concentrate on fighting the false allegations of homosexual behavior), the G-Man posted the following statement:
A recent article in an alternative newspaper cleverly gave false impressions of inappropriate behavior because of its misleading innuendo, incorrectly implying that Professor George Rekers used the Rentboy website to hire a prostitute to accompany him on a recent trip ... [F]ollowing medical advice Professor George Rekers requires an assistant to lift his luggage in his travels because of an ongoing condition following surgery ... Dr. Rekers found his recent travel assistant by interviewing different people who might be able to help, and did not even find out about his travel assistant's Internet advertisements offering prostitution activity until after the trip was in progress ...
Maybe the ads were different on the day he visited.
So it's all a big misunderstanding, see? George just needed a "travel assistant" to help him with his "luggage." The only possible weak point in that story is that, other than the fact that the rented boy in question confirmed that they did in fact meet via the website and that his daily job duties included nude massages -- Rekers' favorite part of which was a maneuver aptly named the "long stroke" (we'll let your imagination fill in the details on that one) -- the photograph accompanying the story clearly shows Rekers pushing the luggage through the Miami airport himself.
His boy toy was far too delicate for manual labor.
But we're going to give Professor G-Diddy the benefit of the doubt on this one. Because everyone knows that a "smooth, sweet, tight ass" and a "perfectly built 8-inch cock (uncut)" (as described in Jo-Vanni's Rentboy profile) are the main qualifications one should look for when hiring a svelte young travel assistant to "lug" one's "baggage."
Everyone does know that, right?
For more on ridiculous attempts at damage control, check out 5 Retarded Health Campaigns That Backfired (Hilariously). Or learn about the 5 Types of Scandals That Are Always Disappointing.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out Found at Your Local Library: The Three Stooges Book
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