We've all been in bed late at night, working on some super important project with our laptop nestled on our crotch. And maybe this project, uh, required you to have your penis out. But while you were competing in your own little demented Ambien challenge, the fact is that the heat from the laptop's battery was blasting you directly in your yam bag.
A study in 2010 discovered that the heat coming from a laptop sitting near your coin purse exposed it to scrotal hyperthermia. As in, the opposite of hypothermia. It's cooking your balls, is what we're trying to say.
Cooking your delicious yam-balls.
It's not that your genitals are going to burst into flame, but it may very well lower your sperm count. Keep in mind, the entire reason a man's parts are outside of his body is that sperm need to be kept cooler than body temperature or else they die. Raise the temperature of your fragile bits by just two degrees and sperm start getting damaged. And this study found that just one hour of laptop use raised ball temperature by 4.5 degrees.
But that's OK, because you won't be getting laid anyway, sweater boy.
And no, sticking a pillow or laptop pad under it won't matter -- they tried that, and got the same result. Your boys need to be able to breathe. So are we saying that your MacBook is the reason mankind will slowly dwindle away to nothing, a generation of men unable to procreate, frustrated and infertile? No, but there is no question that there is less risk to your swimmers if you put the laptop on a table. And keep your genitals exposed to the cool outdoor air as often as possible. My God! That homeless guy on the subway was right all along.
6 out of 10 people are probably related to him in some way.
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For more technology you should probably be wary of, check out 5 Sci-Fi Technologies People Achieved By Hacking the Kinect and 8 Terrifying Robots Now Stalking Your Local Hospital.