What's the most damage you've ever done while drunk? Maybe ruined a party? Or woke up in a ditch three states away? Or got arrested? Or sent shock waves through the worldwide petroleum market that raised the price of fuel for millions if not billions of people?
If you did that last one, your name is probably Steve Perkins.
Above: Perkins, his features and preferred brand obscured to protect the exceedingly guilty.
The 34-year-old Perkins was an oil trader who got to spend a weekend on a fully funded golfing retreat, paid for by his employer, PVM Oil Futures. So there he was, drinking and schmoozing to his heart's content. But then the weekend ended.
Perkins, however, chose to extend his bender with additional alcohol, starting his binge midday Monday and continuing into the wee hours of Tuesday morning. Oh, he didn't call in sick to work -- he went right back to trading, drunk off his ass.
"You're a cute-lookin' little oil future. Let's do it."