Neckties Can Damage Your Eyesight
Thanks to Mad Men, the suit-and-tie look has been making a rocketing comeback in men's fashion. But just like everything else that seems awesome about the '60s, it turns out that wearing neckties secretly sucks. Specifically, wearing a tie can put you at risk for glaucoma.
Glaucoma is one of the most common eye diseases in the world and can lead to permanent blindness unless it's treated early. Its primary cause is increased pressure in the eye, which in turn can be caused by obstructed blood flow to and from the head. Like if, say, someone tied a fashionably striped little silk noose around your neck and strangled you with it for seven or eight hours every day.
At least regular nooses make you look like a criminal badass.
A 2003 study published in the British Journal of Ophthalmology asked 40 men, half completely healthy and half suffering from glaucoma, to tighten a necktie to "slightly uncomfortable" levels for three minutes, then measured their intraocular pressure. Sixty percent of the glaucoma sufferers and 70 percent of the healthy group showed increased pressure in their eyes. We're not even talking Hulk Hogan headlock levels here -- just "slightly uncomfortably tight," which describes every single tie we've ever worn.
"Whatcha ya gonna do, brother, when the 50-inch silk-woven python runs wild on you!?!"
It turns out that wearing a necktie very gently obstructed the patients' jugular vein, which returns blood from the head to the heart. At best, long-term pressure rises like this can lead to being misdiagnosed with glaucoma by your doctor, and you'll have to do that super annoying air-puff-in-the-eye test every few months for the rest of your life. Of course, at worst, it could lead to permanent damage to the retina. And then you wouldn't even be able to see how absolutely bitchin' you look in that suit. That's like the definition of tragedy right there.
Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a freelance English-Japanese-Polish translator, tour guide and writer. If you pay him, he will write words for you. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For more ways you can probably die, check out 6 Ways Your Office Is Literally Killing You and 6 Statistically Full of S#!t Dangers The Media Loves to Hype.