The family's supply of Juicy Fruit is low, which means they've gotten all 25 minutes of flavor out of their 300 pack. It's not that Wrigley's gum is made from crack; it's just that children are addicted to the health benefits of chewing on processed sugar after every meal.
Overland -- It's Made of Steel!
Via Dave and Buster's News
This advertisement for the now defunct "Overland" car brand excitedly declares that "steel is 30 times stronger than wood!" And that's how Overland saved the world from road fatalities and revolutionized the automobile industry. Oh no, actually, they went out of business and nobody remembers them.
Sea Monkeys: Just Shrimp After All
Perhaps the most iconic bullshit ad of all time. Even in the 1970s, everyone had to have known the Sea Monkeys thing was full of shit. And yet, there was always that lingering feeling that for only $1.25 you could own a breed of intelligent mer-people who served you as their king. Add to that the promise that your sea monkeys would be "clowning around" and "learning tricks" for your amusement.
Instead, you got a packet of quarter-inch frozen brine shrimp. Because this is the real world, Timmy.
Matthew Culkin is a junior English major at Tulane University. Reach him for comment or writing opportunity at MRCulkin@gmail.com, or follow him at @MRCulkin.
For more ads that are terribly out of touch, check out 8 TV Ads That Hate Women and 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children).
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