8 Actors Who Look Exactly The Same on Every Movie Poster

He doesn't break it out for Dr. Dolittle. But on Dr. Doolittle 2 ...

Could it be that somewhere deep inside Eddie Murphy, the comedic genius from the 80s is still alive? Like Axl Foley, Murphy's inner genius can't believe the shit these Hollywood assholes are putting him through. Maybe he's trying to signal out to us, like the guy in Diving Bell and the Butterfly but with more expressive eyebrows.

Do you think that theory's too far fetched, Mr. Nash?

Huh. So to recap ...

And even in body building, that's not considered anything but a dance move.

You can actually track the rise and fall of Van Damme's career by how focused the movie's poster is on his right bicep. For instance, despite Van Damme's best efforts, the art director of this early poster seemed to miss the point ...

The art director of Black Eagle had the nerve to cover his right bicep with a small Asian man -- either out of spite or because he was tired of trying to make a fight scene out of what is clearly just JCVD doing his hair.

But at the height of his career, they look like propaganda posters from a fascist dictatorship that is ruled by the muscles of Van Damme's right arm.

By the end they were clearly just sticking a gun in his hand while he flexed his right bicep, and trying to take the picture before he noticed. This strategy was clearly at work on the hilarious poster for Double Team ...

When it was announced that JCVD would be starring as two twins in the film Double Impact, fans assumed they would finally get a chance to see another side of Van Damme, or at least his left bicep.

Finally, when his career had fallen apart and he'd lost the right to say which arm he gets to show off, we learn the horrifying secret he's been keeping. His left arm.

Punching through a tape measurer, and possible mistranslation of "red tape" ...

Breaking new ground in the world of 19th-century British male cheerleading ...

Or indirectly setting women's right to bear arms back millenia.

On the poster for his movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt (who appears wearing exactly what audiences have always wanted to see her in: a sensible pant suit), his foot and the area behind his head are vectorized to ensure nobody's confused about which one's bigger.

None of this movie takes place inside of Tron. It's about a magic tuxedo. The only reason for that effect is to ensure you know how much bigger Jackie Chan foot is than his head.

He was still searching for the perfect place to look in 2001 on the poster for the movie Training Day, when he looked somewhere off to his right at some bullshit that was hardly worth his time ...

When he won an Oscar for the role, Denzel and the people who make his movies took note, leading to a rash of movie posters that seemed designed only to make us glad we weren't standing two feet to our left.

Sometimes, he seems to be asking whatever is over there a question.

But mostly he's just pissed, and unwilling to stand idly by while whatever it is continues to happen over there.

Of course, there's probably some rule of photographic construction that says that dignity must be exuded off the left edge of the photograph, right?

But unlike Zoolander, Smith has had a second look from the start: a goofy grin that seems to say, "Your daughter is safe with me, sir."

Then from 2002 to 2003 there was his short-lived attempt to become the go-to guy when you needed a soldier's head to loom over an aerial bombardment ...

But on the poster for Die Hard reject Hostage, he saw something he liked.

Not the borderline cartoon-ish De Niro impression, but the precise angle of his bald head, cocked slightly towards his left shoulder. He liked it so much that he cocked his head at the exact same angle on every single one of the posters for Hostage.

And then on the posters for his next two movies.

When the designers of his next two movie posters tried to shoot him standing up straight, he apparently had someone tilt the posters so he appeared to be listing to his left.

Again, we must be seeing some larger rule in play here that applies to other actors equally, right? We'll let Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren take that one.

And sure, Ben Stiller does love making fun of Cruise.

But it's not like Cruise only has one look, or worse yet, one side of his face from which he can sell a movie poster.

Because that would just about seal it.

OK, Tom Cruise was totally the inspiration for Zoolander. Hell, he might be the inspiration for Two Face. Not only does he only have one look, he might not even have a left side to his face.

What a dork. Hey everyone. Let's laugh at Tom Cruise!

Wait. What's he doing? Oh no. Oh God. He's going for a 360. This is unprecedented in the history of movie poster appearances.

OK, Tom Cruise ain't nothing to fuck with.

You can read more from Eric Yosomono at his site.

For more hilarious movie posters, check out 15 Grossly Misleading Movie Posters and Lost In Translation: 20 Baffling Foreign Movie Posters.