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Most movie posters are boring as hell. It's always some Photoshop of the stars, and maybe an explosion thrown in if it's an action movie. Or at least, that's the way they are in America. Go to Eastern Europe, or Japan, and you'll find posters that have absolutely nothing to do with the film, and everything to do with melting a hole in your brain. #20.
Alien (Poland)
"I've got an idea for a poster. It'll convey that the movie is so awesome, your skin will melt off!" "Great. So there'll be, like, a skull there?" "Sure, sure." "And you have seen a skull before, right?" "Eh, I can pretty much guess what one looks like." #19.
Star Wars (Russia)
Star Wars = space cowboy, which is understandable. Why the space cowboy seems to be constructed out of appliance catalogs, however, is not. #18.
Star Wars (Russia)
Another Star Wars poster for the Russian market, in which Vader is some kind of robotic disco puma. So, the people who went to see the movie based on this poster ... were they disappointed? #17.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Turkey)
Little known fact: The Turkish Director's Cut featured Shelly Duvall and swashbuckling zombies. Seriously, can you fuck up the poster for a Jack Nicholson classic any worse than this? #16.
Chinatown (Poland)
Yes, yes you can. Poland makes our list for the second time by portraying Chinatown as the fantastic tale of an uptight middle-aged woman tormented by Pedro the mischievous, nostril-stabbing elf. #15.
Ghostbusters (Czech Republic)
Ghostbusters (1984): Patrick from Spongebob tries to avoid being prison-raped by Giant Aardvark Man. Rated PG. #14.
Bad Lieutenant (France)
We have to hand it to France. If somebody ever enacts some kind of "Truth in Advertising" law for movie posters, this is what the Bad Lieutenant poster would look like. The above image gives you everything you need to know before making your ticket purchasing decision. #13.
Weekend at Bernie's (Poland)
So Poland is going to try to dominate this list, isn't it? Just look at that shit. Now here's the thing; they have TV ad campaigns for these movies, right? Don't the Polish people get confused when these ads show a couple of wacky kids in a slapstick farce with their dead boss, while the poster shows whatever the hell that is up there? Or do they change the ads, too; replacing them with just the above image over the sounds of a heartbeat and a child crying softly in the background? #12.
Alien (Czech Republic)
"The Americans have not allowed anyone in Eastern Europe to see this 'Alien' film, but we must have the poster completed by this afternoon!" "Well... I have this thing I was making last night, it's an album cover for my band." "Perfect!" #11.
King Kong (France)
Choke slamming a shark and "Mega Sound"? This is how you sell a freaking movie, kids. |
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I wonder how porn posters are in these lands.
TOO MUCH SENSE.
Holy sh..! I knew my country was crazy but this is epic fail even for us. But you should now that the Poster "Escape from the planet of the apes" is NOT really a movie poster.
lololol, the Escape from Planet of the Apes is the best. Ever. Monkey sex. Yeahhhh.
Technically, ape sex.
omg this is one of the funniest articles on cracked, i love the one flew over the cuckoo's nest poster-and first blood, LOL
omg this is one of the funniest articles on cracked, i love the one flew over the cuckoo's nest poster-and first blood, LOL
On the 11th poster, KingKong...
It's a Belgian one.
"Kingkong komt in opstand" in Dutch.
Only in Belgium can you find such bilingual posters.
(Sorry that I feel a little bored when people say all FrenchSpeaking people are from France. Belgium exists! What would you think if I said all Englsih-speaking people were from England? America swept out of the map! Nice, isn't it? ) ;p
That's not true. We ignore you in favour of Canada, too.
That's true, Belgium has good beers and fries (not french). You should respect them for that.
Wow, this is what Europe is up to while griping about how badly America sucks? Fuck the rest of the world.
Muppety jada do Hollywood. I think we should officially change the name of that movie, this one is far superior.
canuguru, it's probably because this poster was for belgium which share some french and dutch speaking communities
i would immediately go see ANY movie with the face hand
King Kong (france) might make sense, except that most of text is not in french, its dutch.
This was one of the funniest collection of things I have seen I'm a while. It's like it was made by aliens who didn't understand humans. I really like the give away for Planet of the apes and I liked the rib cage skull from aliens. Also Captain Supermarket was pretty good. I have a idea why don't people make some short films based on the movie posters that got it so wrong. I would watch all of them except for Bad Lieutenant which would probably be a dong showcase.
The Polish posters are great and as mentioned in other comments, in many countries movie posters are considered art and not just an advertisment for the movie. They're supposed to make you think or laugh or something and want to see the movie
Foreign movie posters feature some of the best are for most films. I have been collecting vintage movie posters for 15 years and I have many posters in my collection from France, Italy, Germany, Japan, Poland, etc. I think collectors should be more open minded to foreign posters as they really do a stunning job on some of them.
Ralph DeLuca
Madsion, NJ
I'm a little depressed at the close-mindedness of a lot of these comments. I love the esoterism of a lot of these posters, and would personally rather see these graphic mindfucks plastered across cinemas than yet another throwaway floating-head Photoslob job.
Even though I am from Poland I really enjoyed this list. I laughed out loud! :) It s just a shame that under such a funny article so many dumb comments were posted.
(I really wanted to post these messages as one, but couldn't. Kinda sucks.)
And don t let me start about this one: http://correctopinion.files.wordpress.com/.../the_fall.jpg :) It must be confusing to go to the movies for some people. :)
Or Burn after reading poster: http://www.iwatchstuff.com/.../...eading-poster.jpg ? Giant letters attacking photographer?
Though I am wondering what an average American person (like some of those guys posting comments here) thinks when he/she sees one of older posters for, let s say, The Dark Knight ? Like this one: http://ofpenguinsandpeanuts.files.wordpress.com... ? Do they think it s a movie about someone tagging the walls? :)