Lost In Translation: 20 Baffling Foreign Movie Posters
Most movie posters are boring as hell. It's always some Photoshop of the stars, and maybe an explosion thrown in if it's an action movie.
Or at least, that's the way they are in America. Go to Eastern Europe, or Japan, and you'll find posters that have absolutely nothing to do with the film, and everything to do with melting a hole in your brain.

"I've got an idea for a poster. It'll convey that the movie is so awesome, your skin will melt off!"
"Great. So there'll be, like, a skull there?"
"Sure, sure."
"And you have seen a skull before, right?"
"Eh, I can pretty much guess what one looks like."

Star Wars = space cowboy, which is understandable. Why the space cowboy seems to be constructed out of appliance catalogs, however, is not.

Another Star Wars poster for the Russian market, in which Vader is some kind of robotic disco puma. So, the people who went to see the movie based on this poster ... were they disappointed?

Little known fact: The Turkish Director's Cut featured Shelly Duvall and swashbuckling zombies. Seriously, can you fuck up the poster for a Jack Nicholson classic any worse than this?

Yes, yes you can. Poland makes our list for the second time by portraying Chinatown as the fantastic tale of an uptight middle-aged woman tormented by Pedro the mischievous, nostril-stabbing elf.

Ghostbusters (1984): Patrick from Spongebob tries to avoid being prison-raped by Giant Aardvark Man. Rated PG.

We have to hand it to France. If somebody ever enacts some kind of "Truth in Advertising" law for movie posters, this is what the Bad Lieutenant poster would look like. The above image gives you everything you need to know before making your ticket purchasing decision.

So Poland is going to try to dominate this list, isn't it? Just look at that shit. Now here's the thing; they have TV ad campaigns for these movies, right? Don't the Polish people get confused when these ads show a couple of wacky kids in a slapstick farce with their dead boss, while the poster shows whatever the hell that is up there?
Or do they change the ads, too; replacing them with just the above image over the sounds of a heartbeat and a child crying softly in the background?

"The Americans have not allowed anyone in Eastern Europe to see this 'Alien' film, but we must have the poster completed by this afternoon!"
"Well... I have this thing I was making last night, it's an album cover for my band."
"Perfect!"

Choke slamming a shark and "Mega Sound"? This is how you sell a freaking movie, kids.








I can tell you what's going on here. Years before globalisation and dumb copying the same photoshop posters around the world in the name of cutting costs, in socialist countries poster drawing was whole genre of art, and posters SUPPOSE not to have much with movies itself. If they did, they were considered boringly obvious. They didn't have to show how awesome movie is, but only inform that it's now in theaters plus you were given oportunity to see some cool graphic. Yes, spookiness and weirdness are considered cool here.
ReplyNumber 8, Bullitt, reminds me of Max Headroom for some reason.
Reply#6 looks like either a meme or a drawing a five-year-old made of a puking man.
ReplyI love Poland. Keep going strong you crazy bastards.
Reply++++Life is sometimes boring. You need something wonderful injected. please come ---casualloving. C óM---, it's the most effective place in the world to find like-minded people and rediscover lost passion. You will not regret for dating with pretty girls and cute guys from the world. Best wishes!
ReplyWell, it's been a long time since I had something wonderful injected! I mean, that flu shot was a while ago...
Ha! I ALREADY WAS INSANE
ReplyThe bad part is the Planet of the Apes American DVD cover shows the Statue of Liberty too. really? the huge twist ending you just slap on the cover? seriously?
ReplyThey should totally do a new cover for The Sixth Sense with a somewhat immaterial Bruce Willis fading from sight screaming "I'M A F'ING GHOST!!"
#7 ha! the poor public
ReplySo, apparently Poland thought that Weekend at Bernie's was a horror movie.
ReplyApparently everything is a horror movie in Poland.
I'm amaed that Japan is not responsible for a single one of these.
ReplyRocky and Army of Darkness. But yeah, you'd think there'd be more. It seems all they do is just add stuff too it, not like those arthouse-on-acid polish posters.
Dude, Poland is awesome.
ReplyThe Czech Republic too, but really, Poland takes the cake.
They have a way with art
I still can stop laughing and now I'm pretty sure I can taste blood! I blame you, Poland
ReplyIn 'The Army of Darkness' poster, what is up with the head on the right side saying "Mooooon"?
ReplyI chose to study in France and travel to Czech Republic, why?! When Poland has so much to offer. Thank you for the laughs! haha the muppet movie poster had my intestines all tangled up :O Also how cute is the word Muppety for muppets. Next muppet movie should be named that.
Reply"And... you are now insane. Sorry." LMAO!
ReplyOn a side note, are there any Polish Cracked readers who can explain... well... just what the hell it is we keep seeing?
Poland has a lot of artists within the population. Seriously there are large open air markets where local artisans show their work
yes there are some Polish readers here... First I'll explain the escape from the planet of the apes... dude Jay Thomas who put this up... do some research, that's actually a satire by a famous polish cartoonist Andrzej Mleczko, so even if this was an actual poster (which i doubt it was) it wasn't pasted at movie theaters! It's probably one of the posters from his gallery or his weekly column at a newspaper and you mistakenly have placed it as an actual movie poster!!! Secondly I'd like to add that I don't get what you have against the alien poster... it's actually intriguing, makes you think, and Polish posters have been famous and winning awards for years, like for example the poster for the 1988 film "working girl".
Furthermore (in my defense, since this will probably make a difference to some) I grew up in the US, and when i turned 18 I moved back to Warsaw, you mr. Jay thomas and others like you are the reason. please people think outside the box sometimes... it's art, sure you can criticize it, and yes some of these posters are horrid, but still don't you think it's better than seeing another poster with the same design? These posters are amazing! they have started this entire discussion, I keep seeing questions like "what are we looking at" etc. well exactly... that was the point of these posters - "make the f@##$%%g audience think!!" which unfortunely is something that most film posters, and worst of all, the films themselves lack these days!!! Look at some of the Alfred Hitchcock movie posters they have the same qualities as the ones above
Robotic disco puma? Win.
ReplyNumber 11 isn't a French poster. It has French AND Flemish. That places it in Belgium. Even I know that.
Reply"That's your poster for the JFK movie? You're fired, you sick bastard."
Replyyo i f*****g died
I'd absolutely go see Army of Darkness based on that poster, which is kickass.
ReplyThese posters rule!
Reply