It's time for a new holiday, a simpler holiday.
A malt liquor holiday.
The date: Dec. 28.
Why that date? That's the date our book, You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True Facts -- containing 18 articles you cannot read anywhere but the book, plus illustrations by Web comic luminaries like Nedroid -- is unleashed on a materialistic and unbelieving public, in fulfillment of the ancient prophecy.
Ia! Ia! Cracked fhtagn!
Now, we are not saying that Crackedmas is based entirely around the purchasing of our book, or that we have been vandalizing Christmas decorations for two weeks just because our book happens to be coming out on a different day.
No, the holiday is when you read our book. You can purchase it right now.
Crackedmas is about coming back home on the 28th, exhausted, having endured a long Christmas weekend with your in-laws and hours of pissed-off traffic ... then seeing a little brown cardboard box the UPS man left leaning against your door, knowing that it contains more hours of joy and laughter than even the most loving family will ever, ever be able to provide you (320 pages worth).
This, on the other hand, is amusing for roughly seven minutes.