In fact, housework was found to be more beneficial toward the prevention of breast cancer than exercise or holding down a physical job.
See? He's not helping you clean the bathroom because he cares.
The research of course doesn't argue that housework has innate magical healing properties, nor does it suggest that you stop exercising or going to work. But combining those activities with the kind of sustained light exercise you get from daily chores is what did the trick. So keep that in mind the next time you spend 45 minutes shampooing beer out of the living room curtains.
Masturbation Can Protect You From Prostate Cancer
We're going to put this in the most dignified terms we can: According to science, men who slam the ham on a regular basis have a lower chance of developing prostate cancer.
This finding was the result of a study performed in Australia in 2003 in which over 2,300 men, some with prostate cancer and some without, were asked a series of questions about their sexual activity, specifically focusing on masturbation to eliminate the influence of STDs from the mix. The results indicated that the men who tickled their Elmo more than five times a week had a 30 percent reduced risk of developing prostate cancer, with the best effects showing on the subjects in their 20s.
Presented to BootyBarn.com
So, taking into account the widespread availability of online pornography, we estimate that prostate cancer will be eliminated as a disease sometime around next week or so.
The reason behind why dickwhittling might protect against the most predominant form of male cancer is still unclear, but scientists believe it might have something to do with flushing out your system and thereby preventing harmful components from amassing inside your prostate. And there's been some doubt cast on the study, primarily the argument that some of the men involved might have lied on the questionnaire. Though we submit that if given a series of questions about your masturbatory habits by some clean-cut doctors doing a national study, not a single one of us is going to answer with a higher number.
"Actually doctor, I'm masturbating right now."
Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a freelance online journalist and Japanese-English-Polish translator. Contact him via firstname.lastname@example.org
Find out how else your disgustingess is keeping you alive, in 6 Slacker Behaviors That Science Says Are Good For You. Or learn about how Grandpa's cough medicine really can be medicinal, in The 6 Most Surprising Ways Alcohol Is Actually Good for You.
And stop by Linkstorm to discover what else masturbation is good for. (Hint: nothing really.)
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed.
Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infograpic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!