Captain Tootsie woke up one morning and decided it was he and his candy's responsibility to teach the world about science, so he often ruined his adventures with educational bullshit. No kid reading a comic book ever said, "I can't wait to see how Batman is going to kill the giant squi- wait, what's this about Tootsie Rolls? And hold on, what's this now about radar?"
It required so many miracles of time, space and birth defects for a kid to finish reading a Captain Tootsie ad that it's no wonder that most of us grew up not knowing how important candy is in an emergency. It wasn't until the late 90s before 911 dispatchers were issued Tootsie Rolls, and did you know that some primitive countries still have their fire hydrants hooked up to water instead of delicious candy?
If I ever need to get rescued by a group of toddlers and a man with a yellow purse whose only extraction plan is to quickly eat Tootsie Rolls, just let me explode with the goddamn plane. Just take a look at the "Secret Legion" for a second: