Think about it; Shakespeare's plays were performed in front of audiences of a couple of thousand people. Over the course of an entire year his work would be seen by, what, half a million people? You, on the other hand, can write one article for Cracked about ridiculous album covers and get 1.5 million hits in two weeks. Think about that the next time you're staring blankly at a Jersey Shore marathon and wondering if your life will ever have meaning. If that doesn't move you, I'll let the testimony from this recent contributor spell it out:
I signed up to contribute articles a month ago, and was surprised how effortless the process was, considering that I had accomplished so little in my life up to that point that my resume consisted of nothing more than a picture from my parents' photo album recording the first time I successfully pooped into a toilet. My article I wrote for you ran yesterday. By the afternoon, it had been read by enough people to fill a medium sized-city. By evening, I heard a sound that I mistook for a violent hailstorm. I rushed to the window to see that it was in fact the sound of hundreds and hundreds of panties hitting the side of my home, as local women were driving by and hurling them at my house. This is very upsetting to my wife and children, is there any way to make them stop?