College Drinking

College. A time when young men and women say goodbye to moderation and hello to many repeated nights of hugging their dorm room toilets. Why? Because “college is like a fountain of knowledge – and all the students are there to drink.” -Unknown.

Just The Facts

  1. In the United States there are approximately 14 college students that do not drink.
  2. Drinking and College have been life partners since 859 A.D.
  3. They are rarely seen arguing.
  4. We want to party with that 'unknown' guy in the opening summary.

A Brief History

In the United States, imagery of inebriated college students has been around as early as the mid 1800s. Of course, alcohol was a key component for American culture in general in that time. Hell, in the 1830s Americans were averaging roughly five shots of alcohol per day (the peak of the United States' alcohol consumption).

Drinking in college was an obvious accepted social norm, and we presume that it may have even garnered respect seeing how even drunken students were putting their drunken minds to good use rather than contributing to criminal acts in the surging number of skid rows all over the country. As the nation began to pull itself away from a brash lifestyle of alcoholism, drinking remained prevalent in the college scene, as illustrated by early 20th century compositions such as Yale's Whiffenpoof and UMaine's Stein Song '- the official fight song for the Black Bears.

Modern Day

It comes as no surprise that 84% of college students like to indulge in a couple of drinks every now and then. And why wouldn't they? College is tough -- what with all the tests and... well, that's just about it. In fact, with the combination of pressure like that and a new found freedom, we wouldn't doubt if the percentage was higher.

Present day college coeds have continued their parent's and grandparent's tradition of drinking. Sadly, long gone is the charming portrait of scholarly groups of students in cardigans enjoying a few pints in the warm company of one another (alright so we may be glorifying yesteryear a little).

Instead, today we have the less appealing, seemingly irresponsible and presumably stickier variety as described in Asher Roth's I love college. Of course the aim is still the same. Although the image of college drinking has been sullied a bit by the likes of Roth and television coverage of spring breakers losing their damned minds, the motivation is the same. Drink. Be social. Make mistakes and learn.

Just don't let those mistakes be too big

Common College Drinking Games

Flip Cup

College students show off how intelligent those tens of thousands of dollars have made them by separating into two equal teams around a table and engaging in a relay race of drinking. Instructions as follows: Drink. Flip empty cup. Scream wildly and flail about while the next person on your team drinks, flips, and repeats your loud, totally necessary gestures. First team to finish gets to proudly brag their asses off right up until the next match beginning approximately 25 seconds later.

Edward fortyhands

Also known as Amy Winehands (after famous life failure, Amy Winehouse), Edward fortyhands is undoubtedly the easiest concept to grasp. Using either duct or masking tape (we prefer masking because of the hypnotic aroma), strap 40oz beers to each hand and drink up. Of course one must not remove said bottles until they are both empty. Should the participant not be able to finish his/her beer, the only way to surrender is to pour whatever remains over one's head. Sound uneventful? Perhaps. Ridiculous? Definitely. But is it a simple, happenin', potentially dangerous good time? You betcha! Bachelor's degree not required.

Card games

(Asshole, Ride the bus, King's Cup). Card games involve quite of bit of rules and can be perplexing when academically boozing. These games are usually reserved for smaller parties, or "get togethers," a term you use to label your shin dig when you are certain that less than half of the few guests invited will show up.

Beer Pong

Believed to have originated from Dartmouth fraternities in the 1950s, beer pong is now the staple of college drinking games. According to our estimates a staggering 9000% of college parties have a beer pong table set up and ready for overly competitive drunkards to inevitably fight over who "has next" (flexing is usually involved.)

For fuck's sake, Smitty! We went outside for 2 minutes and we got line jumped, brah!

Economics

Stop kidding yourself. You can't afford Docker's.

One less than stellar aspect about being in college is that you tend to not have money. With your busy schedule you are lucky to get a 20 hour work week at your minimum wage job. Of course your parents lend a helping hand because they are aware of how much of a broke ass you are. But their contributions (a whopping fifty dollars and basket of blueberry muffins) don't exactly go too far in today's world, and you need to get your collegiate drink on. Here are your viable (affordable) options.

All your worries about finances will be gone in no time. Along with your liver.