But Behind Closed Doors...
When he wasn't sciencing the shit out of everything, Einstein spent his time postulating his wiener into as many women as possible. Even though he was married twice (once to his cousin), he cheated on both of his wives with about 10 different women. Though in his defense, he presented his first wife with a list of rules, one of which was "expect neither intimacy nor fidelity."
"Pipes, however, are to be expected."
Before Einstein finally settled on his cousin Elsa, he apparently almost married her 22-year-old daughter instead (Elsa was his first cousin through his mother's side AND second cousin through his father's side. In addition to the theory of relativity, Einstein was the only human capable of conceptualizing the branches of his own family tree that he had sex with). Then he supposedly got some side action from Elsa's sister when they were younger, which he defended in a letter to Elsa by pointing out "You can't blame me; we were young and she was willing."
We imagine he used the same defense when he was caught boning his best friend's niece years later.
"See those women down there? I've just decided to pork them all."