Top Picks for 01.29.2010: Hilarious SOTU Tweets and the Internet

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

01.29.2010

10 Funniest Tweets from the #SOTU:

This is the Internet:

How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor?:
Thanks to Djavo in the Mirth Canal.

Misspelled Tattoos: Permanent and Hilarious:

Adult Swim's 8 Best Superman Moments:

Ever want to know how to poop in space? Well, here's your answer:

The 25 hottest Olympians to watch for in the 2010 Winter Games:

It's early, sure, but there's no way any other headline will top this one:

8 pictures of the most retarded vehicle on the planet:

We're not sure which is stranger: That this kid is actually karate-kicking a fence or that there's a crowd gathered to watch him do it:

6 Historic Events that Shaped Entertainment:

Italy to open first prison for transsexuals, presumably to be called Alcatranz:

Apparently Apple is run by a bunch of psychopaths:

A round-up of video games you should be playing:

The 10 Most Ridiculous Things People Believe:

Mouse House 8000? That's just a tinfoil dick:

The Top 10 Old Guy's the Women of Lemondrop Would Love to Bed:

Awesome concert intros from the Stones, AC/DC, Eddie Vedder and U2. Wait, U2?:

Hulu to put 24/7 reality show online:

This just in: Australian government a bunch of hysterical grannies:
Thanks to Sanchez in the Mirth Canal.

First our cars. Next will be us:

We hate to admit it, but Wanda Sykes can be somewhat humorous:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Chess is the deadliest game.
Submitted by NCHammer326 in the Mirth Canal.

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01.26.2010

The Best Celebrity Photobombs of All Time:

Extras Gone Wild: Screw-Ups Caught in Major Films:

Cowboy Bebop Kung Fu Action Extravaganza:

If you weren't scared by babies previously, then prepare for an onset of paedophobia:
Thanks to Funkasaurus Rex in the Mirth Canal.

Finally, an answer to why women love pasty-white men who only come out at night (vampires, not basement-dwelling nerds):

A childhood pic that explains why Brockway doesn't go to the beach anymore:

The Facebook Statuses of Your Favorite Celebrities:

A guide to the snack food aisle:

Motivational Cat Speech:

The best (and worst) Larry King impressions:

Cat vs. Dog: Who will win this duel of keyboards?:

5 Great Lost Conan O'Brien Moments:

28 more impressive photobombs:

Charlie Sheen is a nutbag:
Thanks to nchammer326 in the Mirth Canal.

The First Annual WAG Awards:

The Stupidest Pop Lyrics of All Time:

5 Possible Plots for Avatar 2:

21 hilariously retarded warning signs:

Photoshop this armadillo lizard:

The Best "Save the Date" Ever:

Check out DOB's new line of accessories for your boner:

Sith Lords need filtered water, too:

This, like, totally makes us want to buy a bong, man:

Ugly celebrity wives:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: People who have escaped prison (with a helicopter).
Submitted by numbers1377345 in the Mirth Canal.

01.22.2010

Beatles Clan ain't nothin' to fuck wit':

25 Lazy Security Guards:

Radio Active Teddy Bear Zombies:

Pee-Wee Herman doesn't want you to do crack. We might have to smoke some to erase the memory of watching this:
Thanks to John Cheese in the Mirth Canal.

12 incredibly retarded sports quotes:

In the Late Night Wars, whose side is Jimmy Fallon on? Does anyone care?:

Rex is such a cockblock:

The 100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time:

Jesus gets Rick-rolled:

Christopher Walken is afraid of plants:

The future of electric guitars:

Super Mario meets Jersey Shore:

7 Futuristic Movies That Actually Predicted the Future:

The 30 Dirtiest Names in Sports History:

What does Nic Cage think of "Everyone is Nic Cage"? He loves it:

Sculpt, Tone and Terrify:

Lost reenacted by an Italian family:

One woman's path towards appreciating Steven Seagal:

Shark attack?:

Photoshop this ice driller:

Check out these people with unibrows:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: easter eggs in Microsoft products.
Submitted by ralf23 in the Mirth Canal.

01.19.2010

The Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2010:

9 photos of the real life Simpsons house:

The Third and the Seventh. Seriously, watch this. Now:
Thanks to Lt.Kael in the Mirth Canal.

The Funniest Parking Fails of All Time:

The most hilarious tutorial on ninja-sword fighting ever:

This poor ref never saw the giant, inflatable mascot coming:

Jesus promises to BRB:

The exact moment Chad's spirit was broken:

25 Funny Billboards:

15 Iconic Movies Weapons:

Check out this hot ad of Demi Moore from 20-years back- wait, what? This is recent? The wonders of airbrushing, folks:

The Big Bang Theory minus the laugh track is incredibly disturbing:
Thanks to David Wong in the Mirth Canal.

The 10 Most Mantastic Moments in Black History:

Do you have your 2010 Adult Swim calendar yet? No? What's the matter with you?:

Banned dorm room cooking secrets:

Proof that Aziz Ansari is the Funniest Comedian Online:

Who'd You Rather: Golden Globe edition:

7 Deadly E-mail Fails:

Photoshop this Pangea day tribute:

Conan addresses NBC via song:

We're almost positive you can see Bucholz in one of these videos:

Meet America's first male prostitute:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: The first step in developing your immortality potion!
Submitted by msfrapples in the Mirth Canal.

01.15.2010

For the cost of a couple drinks at the bar, a few bags of Oreos or a few nudie magazines, you can instead text "HAITI" to 90999 and donate $10 to the American Red Cross to help with disaster relief:

Jimmy Kimmel appears on Leno. Proceeds to rip him a new asshole:

Wyclef Jean: Haiti's Greatest Hope?:

The rules for Pictionary:

Larry Platt remixes. Who's Larry Platt? Only the worst snub in Idol history:

A reenactment of Jersey Shore (by children):

Oh that Jesus. Such a character:

25 Hardcore Pets:

14 pizzas that will kill you upon consumption:

Who's a cute wittle ninja? You are! Yes you are!:
Thanks to Samwise in the Mirth Canal.

The best parodies of the Flintstones:

@manvszombies is reason enough to sign up for Twitter:

8 Gratuitously Sadistic Guilty Pleasure Movie Moments:

6 Reformed Celebrity Man Whores:

How Jersey Shore are you?:

You're in luck, fellas, the Snuggie now caters to your needs:

A sheep in Turkey was born with a human face. We know, we're also surprised this didn't happen in Scotland:
Thanks to mrs. bombastic in the Mirth Canal.

Photoshop this frigid fireman

Is this the worst beatboxer ever?:

This is the story of a champion. A Frogger champion:

David Letterman vs. Jeff Zucker:

Some of the best dressed men on the planet (NFSW-ish):

Everybody looks like Nicolas Cage:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Become an expert of the Na'vi language today!
Submitted by i like fire in the Mirth Canal.

01.12.2010

Late night hosts on AIM:

Texts From Last Night: Super Mario Edition:

The inner monologue of a guy attending a porn convention:

Two Gentlemen of Lebowski: A Shakespearean Tale:
Thanks to PurpleTowel in the Mirth Canal.

The Many Deaths of Carl:

The Stupidest Game Show Answers of All Time:

8 Movies That Have Not Aged Well:

20 Women Who With Regretful Husbands:

Google is Inside Your Brain:

Poor Judy. She's just thinking outside the box:

Deadly Prey is incredibly awesome:
Thanks to ulyssesdraco in the Mirth Canal.

Photoshop this strange firepit

The French Star Wars is still better than the prequels:

3 New Year's Resolutions That Will Change Your Life:

How to be the Terminator of paintball:

"Hey check out my awesome roundh- aww. Dammit..":

Sunday Funnies Postage Stamps Coming Soon:

Conan rips on NBC:

4 Things Men Hate About Sex:

AIDS ads that totally went there (NFSW-ish):

Dating sites that use your DNA? The 6th Day is slowly becoming reality:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: The classifying of fictional sea creatures.
Submitted by DNASnatcher in the Mirth Canal.

01.08.2010

25 Epic Faceplants:

5 Holiday Gifts You Should Return:

The Nexus One is still working out some kinks:

Is this the greatest intro for a sports team in the history of anything, ever? Fuck yes it is:
Thanks to AceJustice in the Mirth Canal.

How to make sex according to famous rappers:

Pole Dance Hero:

A guide a majority of our readers probably need: Top 10 Ways to Start Talking to Women:

Animated parkour might just be more awesome than the real thing:

Hiroshima Vs. Detroit: Who Really Won That War?:

Gladstone's bed:

The most useless machine ever:

Australians are racists. Or Americans just need to calm the fuck down:
Thanks to Grimrak in the Mirth Canal.

Photoshop this lonely tree

A guide to sleeping in your car:

Fatty + ice = terrible combination:

Even though they might be giving your balls cancer, cell phones might also be preventing Alzheimer's:

10 Great Movies You Never Want to See Again:

What the Jersey Shore kids look like when they aren't wearing Ed Hardy shirts:

Paris Hilton owns a pig. Seriously, that wasn't a joke:

Not only does this hurt our ears, but it hurts our souls:

Can men and women be "just friends"?:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Animals can be gay, too!
Submitted by GOTI in the Mirth Canal.

01.05.2010

The magnitude of the insanity displayed by soccer fans is disturbing:

The Top 10 Movies to Look Forward to in 2010:

The worst day ever in Google Trends:

Discover the true nature of the rough and tumble street crawlers in:
Thanks to Zach in the Mirth Canal.

Michael Cera does Jersey Shore:

A tribute to sci-fi's most lovable fatass: Jek Porkins:

Stephen Colbert's tryout for the U.S. Olympic Curling Team:

The funniest flubs from famous folks:

"Inner city crime is a serious problem, even when that inner city is Toledo and the crime is Chicken McNugget-based.":

The 12 Hottest Women of Genre TV:

It's hard to deny Lady GaGa as a pop sensation when even the Westboro Baptist Church begins to take notice:

5 New Year's Resolutions You Won't Keep:

An absolutely brilliant prank:
Thanks to FlyingSquid in the Mirth Canal.

The Best Adult Swim Vomit Clips:

What cartoon characters would look like in real life a.k.a. nightmare fuel:

Does the g-spot really exist? We say no, but our the laughter from our lady-friends leads us to suspect otherwise:

And yet another childhood icon takes a turn to the dark side:

15 photos of guys who should really keep their shirts on:

Even Milton Waddams didn't have it this bad:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: The major differences between Knight Rider and Knight Rider 2010.
Submit your page in the Mirth Canal.

01.01.2010

New Year's resolutions from the folks at:

A guide you probably need right now:

The best viral vids of last year:

A comprehensive list from decades past:

25 Sex Resolutions for 2010:

Be a better man in 2010:

Did you win New Year's Eve bingo?:

Dramatic chipmunk gets his revenge:

What's the most effective hangover cure?:

A list of racist commercials:

The best moments from:

Five ways people will remember the 00s:

Apparently being born on New Year's Day is just awful:

The 20 Most Anticipated Movies of 2010:

Looks like Jack O'Brien is going to have to knock of his old habits:

Awesome art by Ben Turnbull:

How Jersey Shore are you?:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: 2010's page is already loaded.
Submit your page in the Mirth Canal.