"In a row? I'm sorry, no, this just isn't working out.
But they're not the only spoiled kids getting a slap in the face from economic meltdown reality. Parents of little girls are apparently realizing that raising their kids with a princess fantasy (complete with princess-themed bedroom, beauty pageants and pink frilly everything) might not be the best way to prepare them for a world where the only time she'll get called "Princess" is when some fat guy at Hooters is demanding that she hurry up with his wings.
You are Living Healthier and Feeling Better
Research by Stanford University and the University of North Carolina has shown that when times are good people tend to not take care of themselves. We eat bacon-wrapped bacon and drink Thunderbird while we shower. We eat out at restaurants, we neglect our families and drop the responsibilities of raising kids on stoned teenagers and crooked daycare centers because we are also usually overworked and overstressed when the economy is booming.
When things are good, we want them to stay good, so we work harder to keep it that way. Ironically, when the economy does go to shit, all of your previous worries seem so insignificant you start to lay back and simply not give a rat's ass. This translates to a barrel full of stress you will not be having and more time to be good to yourself.
Ah. My children will be born into debt. Nice.
During the recession we eat healthier and smoke less. In the recession of the 1990s, heavy smoking decreased by five percent, which is something all those anti-tobacco activists could only fantasize about in their wildest wet dreams. People lose weight and pursue higher education; so on the whole society looks up when everything else looks down.
This of course doesn't mean you should be happy because, really, there isn't such a thing as a "good" recession, but it makes you feel like it's good when you see it written out like this.
According to the Office for National Statistics, we are basically on the exact same level of contentment we were 10 years ago. So even if we are not getting happier, we are living healthier and finding less reasons to be stressed out even if we're out of a job and possibly having to blow businessmen for beer money.
While not writing for Cracked, Cezary shares his bleak outlook on life on Drown Yourself.
To find out how to safe your ass during this recession, check out 10 Retarded Money Saving Tips (People Are Actually Trying) and Nectar of the Broke: The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk.
And check out some free boobs at our Top Picks.