The Main Offenders:
Candy Cigarettes, Bubble Gum Cigars, Big League Chew
Look at you, all grown up! Pretending to use tobacco and emulate the beautiful people like Marilyn Monroe, Pierce Brosnan, and Popeye.
The world has long since pussied-out on the whole "candy carcinogen" thing, but many of us still have fond memories of these from our childhoods. Until we started smoking for real at the age of 12.
Yes you think you look cool, but in reality you're just another poser, kid. That may sound harsh, but if you really thought chewing on the end of a bubble gum cigar would earn you the respect of your friends and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies a la Tony Soprano, you were in for one of those brutal lessons about growing up.
And it kind of looks like a dick.
Not to mention that once again the candy makers, confident that the fun shape would carry sales, didn't bother to inject any kind of flavor into any of these. We said the candy necklaces tasted like chalk? We're not completely sure that candy cigarettes weren't actual sticks of chalk.
Likelihood of Being Physically Injured by the Candy:
Big League Chew and gum cigars were just shaped bubble gum, no harm there. But as for the candy cigarettes ... you know you tried to light that s**t.