In reality, the bouncing properties of a Space Hopper equate to those of a dropped egg. And, forward movement is approximately that of an asthmatic beetle with two missing legs. Still, parents around the world saw those ads and, for many of us, at least one Christmas featured a huge, almost round wrapped gift under the tree.
"Gee, what do you think that is, Sport!," your father would say.
"Gosh, I just don't know." You'd lie, while secretly hoping it might be two BB guns and a poster of the chick from Weird Science wrapped up with a soon to hatch Gremlin. But, you knew you were just fooling yourself.
What can make it better:
Just making it out of some kind of actual bouncy material would help. As it is, you feel like you're really doing all the work, trying to drag yourself and the ball across the yard with the sheer force of your pelvic thrusts. Though, we seem to remember the teenage girls in our neighborhood saying it was a brilliant toy, for some reason, and that it could never be improved. We all sneered at that, because what did girls know?
Ashrita Furman from New York, holds the world-record for the fastest 100-meter dash on a Space Hopper. Ashrita Furman is a serial record breaker, and holds 25 current world records, including the longest pool cue balance, the longest underwater juggling and the longest pointless existence on Earth.