Stendhal's Syndrome

Stendhal's Syndrome is a psychosomatic disorder that strikes when a person is exposed to too many beautiful or powerful objects in too short a space of time. Symptoms range from dizziness to full-blown psychosis. It can be triggered by famous works of art, areas of natural beauty and even entire cities; hence Jerusalem Syndrome ("Holy shit, I'm standing exactly where The Messiah once stood!") and Paris Syndrome ("Holy shit, I just paid $14 for a cup of coffee!").

Will it get me laid?
Without a doubt. The problem with most of these disorders is that you actually need to have them in order to reap their benefits. With Stendhal's Syndrome, you merely need the object of your arousal to think you have it. Just mention to your quarry that you suffer fits of dementia when exposed to overwhelming beauty, then look at his/her face and immediately crash convulsing to the floor, gibbering and foaming at the mouth. Maybe give the ground a couple of headbutts and chew off a portion of your tongue. Who isn't going to fall for that?

Walking Corpse Syndrome

Walking Corpse Syndrome, otherwise known as Cotard's Syndrome, is a rare disorder in which the sufferers are convinced that they have died or otherwise ceased to exist. It was first described by neurologist Jules Cotard in 1880, but was only given scientific legitimacy in April 2007 when it featured in an episode of Dinosaur Comics.

Will it get me laid?
Not a lot, but there's a definite niche market opportunity here. You're a corpse, but you're still warm, which would make you extremely attractive to rheumatic necrophiles. If you made an ad on NDATE saying "I'm sprawled on my warm, comfortable sofa feeling dead and horny", you'd have sex-starved goths battering down your door.

How do I get it?
Cotard's Syndrome usually arises as a result of some other mental illness, but it can also be caused by brain injury. One victim developed the syndrome after (you guessed it) a motorcycle crash. His mother took him to South Africa to recover, where he was convinced that he had instead been taken to Hell. He arrived at this conclusion after noticing that everything had suddenly got hot, suggesting that Cotard may also be an abbreviation of COmplete reTARD.

Is it worth it?
The syndrome is associated with chronic depression, and the only conclusive cure is a heavy dose of electroconvulsive therapy - presumably to convince you that it's probably not heaven if "Jesus" keeps repeatedly tazering your head.

Synethesia

For synesthetes, the stimulation of one sense causes the automatic stimulation of another, resulting in the ability to taste shapes, see music, and countless other variations. One synesthete may perceive each letter of the alphabet as a different color; another may have entirely separate smells for each year in the calendar. So to that person, 1996 has a pleasant apple-like fragrance, whereas 1983 might smell like dicks.

Will it get me laid?
This is the motherlode, baby. Synesthesia has long been associated with high levels of creativity, and everybody knows that chicks get some heavyset boners for creative guys. Justin Chancellor from Tool has the condition, and he requires a snow plow to clear his driveway of boobies every morning. Richard James from Aphex Twin perceives music as colour, and girls perceive him as a walking penis. Pharrell Williams is the geekiest synesthete on the planet, yet as soon as he opens his front door, the sky above him is instantly filled with flocks of detached female underwear engaged in an urgent crotch-to-face migration.

How can I get it?
It's mainly hereditary, but you can trigger it if you overdose on psychedelic drugs. It can also be brought on as a consequence of deafness, or after a stroke. Basically, just go to a Tool concert. It is not necessary to be riding a motorbike while you do this, although that would be pretty fucking cool.

Is it worth it?
Synesthesia is more common than you think--up to 1 in 23 people have it- and it's largely harmless, although there can be a risk of sensory overload. In one form of synesthesia, every written word evokes a different taste, which can be distressing if you can't read your own mother's name without getting a mouthful of dog vomit and sprouts.