Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
What you gon' do with all that junk?/All that junk inside your trunk?
For anyone who argues that American workers have become less competent than their foreign counterparts, we present: "My Humps," a song that Black Eyed Peas own Will.i.am has admitted to writing during a five-minute break. Considering the album version of the song is 26 seconds longer than five minutes, this makes Will.i.am the most efficient songwriter in the world! Eat that India!
And, if you can write a Grammy-winning, chart-topping, ring-tone selling hit faster than you can say the words of that song, you probably couldn't care less that the questions posed therein offer more proof of American stupidity than any standardized test our public school students can fail.
As this question was posed to Fergie, we already know the answer. She would take her junk on a solo career and ride it all the way to Innuendo City, where she could ask equally important questions like "How come every time you come around my London, London Bridge wanna go down?"
Avril Lavigne - "Sk8r Boi"
He was a boy/She was a girl/Can I make it any more obvious?
Give Avril a little credit, here. At least she hasn't been sued for plagiarizing this particular song. That's not to say she didn't steal it, of course ... it's entirely possible she did, and the original writer just has enough self-respect not to take credit for this affront to music.
Avril answers her own question here somewhat, since the very fact that she keeps singing indicates that she felt like she needed to elaborate. If the answer was "No, this cannot be made more obvious," then the song would presumably cut to abrupt silence at that point, which would improve it by a factor of 10.
Though, even after having listened to it, we're still not completely sure what was supposed to be obvious about the line, which merely stated the genders of two people. We had assumed the rest of the lyrics would be Avril backing up her assertion with detailed descriptions of their male and female genitalia. That's how the Black Eyed Peas would have done it.
Or, perhaps Avril's "obvious" message is simply that she's an atrocious songwriter. If so, then mission accomplished, Avril.
Kanye West - "Jesus Walks"
Saying "we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast"/ Huh? Yall eat pieces of shit? What's the basis?
Here, we find Kanye West having an argument with the imaginary police officer in his mind. Like most imaginary cops we know, this guy's never seen Happy Gilmore and stupidly sets himself up by telling Kanye that he and his fellow mind cops eat pieces of shit like him for breakfast. Making the whole exchange even more bewildering than it already is, Kanye wiffs on the meatball he's lobbed himself, merely asking the officer to clarify his statement.