Super Bowl XXXV, 2001
Giants vs. Ravens

THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
"Okay, so the NKOTB performance went poorly, but that was a decade ago. Football has come a long way since then. Plus, New York fans and Baltimore fans will like this sassy, highly choreographed boy band more than that last one."
WHY THEY PICKED WRONG
If there's one thing a guy from New York or Baltimore can't stand, it's a teenager with frosty tips and a denim vest getting more pussy and more money in one day than he'll see in his whole life.
Super Bowl XXVI, 1992
Redskins vs. Bills

THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
"Hey, her band's name is "The Miami Sound Machine," and that sounds like it could be the name of a legendary D-Line or something. Also, the game's being played in Minnesota, and as everyone knows, nothing evokes a Northern Hinterland in the dead of winter like Gloria Estefan."
WHY THEY PICKED WRONG
Gloria Estefan is what you would get if the Taco Bell chihuahua impregnated Celine Dion. In fact, this half time show was so bad that it was nearly beat in the ratings by a live episode of In Living Color. The next year the NFL spent millions of dollars to get Michael Jackson to perform, vowing to never again stake their claim on a washed-up soft-rock has-been like Estefan.
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