- Ringtone: I know you say that it’s crucial that I keep the ring tone that our sponsors gave me, but I really couldn’t be any more goddamn tired of that “This is Our Country” song.
- GPS: Works great. Radar, sonar and infrared sensors combined with downloaded blueprints allow me to pinpoint the locations of any hostiles between me and my target. During my last trip to Ralph's, I was also able to find canned pineapples while only torturing three stock clerks.
Despite these few concerns (and as much as I hate having to re-enter all of my contacts), I am ready to move forward with the upgrade. I want you to know that I appreciate your help in this matter.
The President is in danger. I need you to trust me or the entire city of Los Angeles will be wiped off the map.
Read more of Zach's writing on his blog, UnderpantsOnTheOutside.com, and on his comic book humor site, SuperheroDiaries.com.
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