Upside: Prospective defenders are actually so dismissive of Hoyle's cutoff hemp shorts and mesh poncho jersey that it usually takes four or five uncontested three-pointers before someone will actually guard the guy. Which is good for you if you draft him because, despite the fact that his mechanics couldn't be any uglier, Hoyle was blessed with a jumper truer than Jimmy Chitwood's.
Weaknesses: Unfortunately, he was also blessed with the athleticism of Chunk from The Goonies. It's infuriating, really. This journeyman doesn't appear to be able to jump over a basketball, let alone dunk one. Also, Hoyle's substantial debts to the Stookie Brothers make him a perpetual point-shaving threat.
Shephard (Above the Rim)
NBA Equivalent: Robert Parish, except not such a cut-up
Upside: Is so dedicated to the game that he's been known to practice without a basketball. When he does get his hands on the leather, he is a force, combining Ben Wallace's defense with Kendall Gill's touch and ridiculous haircut. Appears to have a tremendous work ethic, a good head on his shoulders and a disproportionately awesome soundtrack.
Weaknesses: We're not sure who he's trying to fool, but all of his games were very clearly played on eight-foot rims, so it'd be wise to see how he performs in workouts before any deals are made. Emotionally, it's unclear if he's ever fully recovered from the death of his best friend, who fell off the roof of a high rise while he and Shep were playing one-on-one. Friends say that Shep partially blames himself for the tragic fall, which, when you think about it, is sort of inevitable, since playing basketball on the roof of a high rise is among the stupidest things anyone can do.