Apparently, staffing the broadcast booth with a mismatched gaggle of chattering knuckleheads wasn't enough for ESPN' inaugural season of Monday Night Football. The Worldwide Leader also gave Hank Williams, Jr. a grab bag of random backing musicians to help him belt out his signature football anthem "All My Rowdy Friends Are Here for Monday Night." If you haven't seen it, we're posting it here, but please be aware that we're not responsible for any seizures it induces.
As you can see from the sad cast of the forgotten, ignored and I thought you were dead, a lot of performers have fallen on hard times. Here' how embarrassed each one should be for their role in this atrocity.
Hank Williams, Jr.
It' tough to fault Bocephus here. Even though his pappy was one of the greatest songwriters ever, Junior' retrofitting of his own "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight" into what you see above has propelled him into untold strata of fame. For instance, in addition to the pickup-driving, shit-kicking, brown people-hating demographic who exalt his every whisker, even slightly less racist people have become vaguely familiar with his name.
Embarrassment Factor: 6Little Richard
Well, seeing as how Little has already cashed checks from
Homeboys In Outer Space
, and whoever was responsible for
, getting that NFL per diem is something he should actually be proud of. You know, something to hang in his den.
Embarrassment Factor: 2?uest Love
As the man defensive hip hop lovers turn to when their art is derided as a soulless pit of tired samples and ugly jewelry, the Roots drummer should really hang his fro in shame and relinquish his black power fist hair pick. He is happily dropping beats for a guy who is most likely pissed that he' even allowed to vote or own land.
Embarrassment Factor: 9Joe Perry
This guy absconded even the ability to embarrass himself about 40 pairs of fringed chaps ago. That tends to happen when you sell your name to a Disney rollercoaster and a line of hot sauces. Perry is so far gone that plugging his Les Paul into a stack of Volkswagens and forming and power trio of shame with Slash and Nigel Tufnel could actually be construed as a step back toward artistic credibility.
Embarrassment Factor: 3Steven Van Zandt
Little Steven stepped right up to the line of acceptable shilling when he soldered that pompadour to his noggin as Silvio on The Sopranos
. But dusting off his E Street bandana and following Hank Jr. into the breach is really asking a lot. It' like that friend of yours who starts wearing a wristband on his forearm for no reason whatsoever. You'll let that slide, but when he starts frosting his bangs, it' time for an intervention/beating. Embarrassment Factor: 5