...But not before she stops off a few years later when Superman's a toddler, hops the fence to where he's playing in the front yard, and starts making out with him hardcore
. Which, considering Superman's "total recall" powers of memory, explains a lot
about why he spent fifty years dodging her proposals of marriage.
Action Comics #243
In a sequence of events too complicated to relate without a flowchart involving Greek mythology, space aliens, black magic, and at least one scene of good old-fashioned animal wrestling, Superman pisses off Circe--of The Odyssey
fame--and ends up kicking it Mufasa-style as a bipedal lion with a red cape.
If this happened today
, he'd probably just set up a website about how he's always felt like a lion inside and feels more kinship with the animal kingdom than other humans -- maybe posting the occasional aneurysm-inducing piece of allegedly "erotic" Rescue Rangers
fan-fiction. Luckily for everyone concerned, that
little fetish was still about forty years away from poking its head out of the darker regions of the internet.
Instead, he hangs out with Lois a lot before using some tenuous science to cook up an antidote. The whole thing ends up being pretty sweet, actually, in a Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton sort of way. Except a little creepier.
World's Finest #238
...Yeah, that one probably speaks for itself.
Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #127
Ever since the fine folks at Warner Brothers' marketing department took an airbrush to Brandon Routh's crotch for the promotional photos last year, there's been an ungodly amount of speculation about how "gay" the new Superman movie's going to be. But if he really wanted to outdo the subtext of a story like "When There Was No Clark Kent" -- wherein Superman gets tired of always running off to phone booths to change from straightlaced Clark Kent -- he'd probably have to add four musical numbers and the cast of