The Top 26 Reasons The French Are Rioting

26. Smoking banned in hospital operating-rooms
25. Domestic cats being attacked by serial skunk rapist
24. Population of fake Louis Vuitton bags reaching epidemic proportions
23. Matchpoint, Woody Allen's latest film, getting decent advanced buzz in America
22. Jerry Lewis announced two-month temporary retirement
21. Snooty Index at all-time high
20. Bill O'Reilly doesn't have enough reasons to bitch about them
19. Rodney Roi beat up by le police
18. French's Mustard tarnishing culinary reputation
17. European Union declares deodorant mandatory
16. 2006 model bidet delayed
15. Decades-old Truffaut/Godart debate finally reaches breaking point
14. Gerard Depardieu told them to
13. Can smell England from other end of chunnel
12. Found out escargot is actually snails
11. Heard a Jew got promoted at work
10. Hike in beret tax
9. All Frenchmen finally out of the closet
8. Pencil-thin-mustache factory outsourced to India
7. Upset to be seen along with London and school children's underpants
6. Neckerchiefs and striped shirts out of stock at Le Gap
5. Demanding royalties on Napoleon Dynamite
4. Sexual frustration caused by adorable pixie Audrey Tautou
3. La deluge (apres mois)
2. An American in Paris officially renamed A Freedom Lover in a Place Where They Hate Freedom
1. Because the French are assholes