We here at Cracked like to start every day by watching Batman Begins seven or eight times (it' the new coffee), taking comfort in the knowledge that Gotham (and, it naturally follows, the rest of the world) is safe in the hands of the Dark Knight, played to perfection by the unquestionably badass and dream-hauntingly intense Christian Bale. Imagine our surprise, then, when we caught an interview with Bale discussing some movie unrelated to Batman (and therefore not worth mentioning). He spoke the entire time with some ridiculous, made-up-sounding accent, and it wasn't just a bad joke or a publicity stunt; it turns out Christian Bale was born in Wales and was raised mostly in England.
Batman is ... is from ... Wales? This can't be. In Rescue Dawn, he couldn't shut up about how much he loved flying planes for America. And we trusted him, dammit! Wait, wasn't Bale also the title character in American Psycho? Is there no decency in Hollywood?
Frankly, we just don't feel safe anymore, knowing Batman is secretly Welsh. What's next? An Australian Green Lantern? The Incredible Icelandic Hulk? Where does Batman's allegiance lie? With the fictional Gotham or Wales, wherever the hell that is?