A Gentleman does not pay for intercourse. If the pleasure of his company was not enough compensation for the prostitute, he strangles her. Because a Gentleman does not dispose of dead bodies, he does not pay for motel rooms with his own credit card.
A Gentleman knows that disowning his own son is a difficult task. Thus, he has a servant write a note: “Dear Boy Who Used to Be My Son: As the salutation implies, you are no longer my son. Unaffectionately Yours, The Man You Used to Consider Your Father.”
If his son is retarded, a Gentleman slaps the child until it realizes it is unloved. He then leaves the child tied to a tree with a note that says, “Orphanage, please.”
Unless otherwise specified, executions are black-tie events.
A Gentleman does not wear an executioner’s hood to the event as a joke.
A Gentleman does not cheer when the prisoner is executed. He smiles and nods.
When confronted by a n***o, a Gentleman hides his fear. He discretely guards his wallet and car keys while distracting the n***o with talk of rap music, basketball and dancing.
If the n***o is of high social standing, a Gentleman does not show surprise or ask how he acquired such stature. He simply assumes that it was through affirmative action, and regards the n***o as a common thug.