TIP: To make ANY hideout better, just add tank treads. A castle with an army of loyal soldiers willing to die furthering your evil causes? Good. The same castle able to roll around of its own volition, raining lasery death upon those who oppose you? Much, much better.
The Orbiting Satellite
Keep in mind, these are just suggestions and you should feel free to mix and match. Got an idea for a townhouse shaped like your head on the outskirts of the city? Go for it! And just remember, with enough time and effort, any structure can be a lair you'll be proud of.
Quite possibly the biggest problem with crafting your own lair is the inabilty to find good, cheap labor that'll keep its mouth shut when the cops start poking around-so if you don't speak Spanish, now's the time to learn.
Before it's all over, you're going to be dealing with electricians, steelworkers, mechanics, gunsmiths, stonemasons (the brickworking kind), stonemasons (the secret-dominators-of-the-world kind), vicious animal trainers, and various contractors for water and power.
Needless to say, this sort of thing can put a dent in even the most serious villain's capital. So in order to keep expenses down, keep these two techniques in mind:
Familiarize yourself with the basics of construction.If you have a working knowledge of the task at hand, you're less likely to be ripped off by unscrupulous contractors. Also, depending on where your criminal persona falls on the scale of "terror-inspiring" to "slightly ridiculous," you might want to consider meeting out of costume.
Try to arrange for payment on completion of the job.Since you're pretty much going to kill everyone involved with the construction so that they can't reveal your secrets anyway, this works out to be a fiscally prudent move.
TIP: If at all possible, utilize robot duplicates of yourself in the construction process. In addition to being tireless pawns of your terrible whims, clockwork engines of doom tend to file fewer Workman's Comp claims.
After you've decided on the basic layout of your lair and gotten the foundation poured, it's time to really cut loose and have some fun. In addition to being your place of refuge from the pressures of the day-to-day super-villain lifestyle, your lair should also be a fully functioning arena of death for any who dare challenge you.
This is the time to play to what makes you unique! If you're out there terrorizing the night as Bishop King, the Cantankerous Chessman!, then you're going to want to forego the alligator moat in favor of the electrified checkerboard and soldiers mounted on mechanical horses. The more elaborate the trap, the better: You want deathtraps so unfathomably deadly that you don't even need to stick around to watch the slow, painful, and difficult-but-not-impossible-to-escape death of your most hated foes.
Also, you might want to have several backup plans and escape routes. Just a thought.
Either way, this is your chance to really show your creativity-but in accordance with Super-Villain by-laws, your lair
Keep these things in mind, and you're well on your way to a hideout you can be proud of in between your long, torturous stays at your local penetentiary or asylum!
Which high-school dropout with a six-word vocabulary and an itchy trigger finger is right for your underworld army?
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