be a fully functioning arena of death for any who dare challenge you.
This is the time to play to what makes you unique! If you're out there terrorizing the night as
Bishop King, the Cantankerous Chessman!
, then you're going to want to forego the alligator moat in favor of the electrified checkerboard and soldiers mounted on mechanical horses. The more elaborate the trap, the better: You want deathtraps so unfathomably deadly that you don't even need to stick around to watch the slow, painful, and difficult-but-not-impossible-to-escape death of your most hated foes.
Also, you might want to have several backup plans and escape routes. Just a thought.
Either way, this is your chance to really show your creativity-but in accordance with Super-Villain by-laws, your lair
incorporate the following elements:
If it were possible, we would suggest you make every
door in your hideout a trapdoor. Sadly, this would result in a very tall, very thin structure, and those just do not
hold up well against the assaults of today's cosmic-powered rock monsters. Still, trapdoors are a thing of simple beauty, and should be used at every opportunity. Consider rigging the entire structure with a sequence of chutes that you alone will fully comprehend, each leading to a challenge more deadly than the last. Or, failing that, a pit with sharp sticks or something.
WALL-MOUNTED MACHINE GUNS
Much like the velvet rope at a nightclub, these are hastily assembled, easy to get through, and only there to keep out the riffraff.
Despite the fact that crushing walls have never succeeded even once
in the entire history of deathtraps, no super-villain lair is complete without them, and they're considered by many villainous subcultures to be signs of good luck. Essentially, activating these slow-moving and easily circumvented obstacles is the lair equivalent of breaking a bottle of champagne on a new ship. Only slightly less dangerous.
Keep these things in mind, and you're well on your way to a hideout you can be proud of in between your long, torturous stays at your local penetentiary or asylum!
NEXT TIME: Henchmen!
Which high-school dropout with a six-word vocabulary and an itchy trigger finger is right for your
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