Yes, you read that right.
A product of gypsy folklore (or perhaps just hilarious drunken Gypsy lies told to folklore historians) the belief in vampiric fruit was first recorded in the 1930s by ethnologist, Tatomir Vukanoviae. Tatomir explained that pumpkins and watermelons were the only fruit believed to have vampiric potential, and that they could transform into such monsters if kept for too long after harvesting and exposed to the full moon.
For your safety, one man dared to risk it all.
Vampire fruit was easy to identify, as it was said to roll around on its own accord, leak human blood and produce a sound described as "Brrl brrl brrl," which sounds less like the blood-curdling roar of a terrible monster, than it does like squirrels cuddling.
The vampire fruit, of course, still craved the blood of us mortals, but having gained no teeth or anything else of use in their transformation (despite that convincing Photoshop up there) the cumbersome foods were pretty much limited to rolling angrily into people and wobbling menacingly.
Also known as Kevin Smith-Fu.
You could break their curse by boiling them, scrubbing them with an old broom and finally lighting the broom on fire. Another, equally effective way to neutralize the danger, is to do absolutely nothing.
Jonathan Wojcik has a lot more to say about bugs, parasites and even weirder creatures on his own website, Bogleech.com.
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For more retarded monsters, check out The 5 Most Half-Assed Monsters in Movie History. Or discover what you're really scared of when cowering from zombie clowns, in The Real World Fears Behind 8 Popular Movie Monsters.
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