The Real World Fears Behind 8 Popular Movie Monsters
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Whether she's playing a drunk girl, an obnoxious co-worker or a reluctant would-be porn star, Eliza Skinner's performances are always 100% committed; authentic to the point of making you uncomfortable. Despite all that talent, she spends her spare time geeking out on her blog. We asked her to fill in for us this Saturday, so we could spend the day dyeing our underwear red in anticipation of the new Superman reboot. For some reason she agreed to do it. Popular movies reflect society's fears. In the 1970s everyone was scared of the monolithic Soviets, so the bad guys in Star Wars were the evil Empire. In the late 1990s technophobes and Y2K gave us the Matrix. Likewise, horror movie monsters reveal our true anxieties. I am qualified to do this because I have a BA in Media Studies and a blog, so, you know, I'm pretty much an expert in whatever I want. So let's see what you're REALLY afraid of when you're afraid of ... #8.
The Monster: Zombies
What You're Really Scared Of: People At first glance, modern zombie movies seem to be about a fear of disease - most of them feature the "infected" type of zombies, not the "crawled out of a grave to dance with Michael Jackson" type. But the really threatening thing about zombies isn't their crazy diseased eyeballs, it's their sheer numbers.
Likewise, any scientist will tell you our biggest problem isn't Bird Flu - it's overpopulation. Humans - especially stupid humans - are making way too many babies, and it's starting to get crowded in here. Instead of a desolate wasteland, the Apocalypse will look like the day after Thanksgiving at the mall. Which is exactly what most zombie movies look like: hordes of other goddamn people mindlessly swarming everywhere. Hordes of people are scary!
Stop having so many babies, dum-dums. They're just going to end up being zombies. #7.
The Monster: Pennywise the Clown
What You're Really Scared Of: Perverts. Pennywise is the razor-toothed clown terrorizing the children -- and later, their adult counterparts -- in Stephen King's It. I know what you're thinking: "Duh. Pennywise is scary because clowns are scary." Really -- you're scared of clowns? The guys that ride tiny bicycles and can't figure out the difference between water and confetti? The folks with the crazy hair and an inability to correctly size their shoes? BULLSHIT.
Stephen King made clowns scary, and he did it by turning one into a child molester. Clowns don't try to lure you away with candy so they can do awful things to your body -- child molesters do, and that is what makes Pennywise scary. #6.
The Monster: Chucky
What You're Really Scared Of: Babies It would be wrong to make a movie about the horror of giving birth to a deformed baby, because it would be wrong to admit that people are terrified of that. So instead, here's a movie about having a normal kid who gets a monster babydoll that just won't leave! But make no mistake, Chucky is your baby, and he is the most nightmarish version imaginable -- ugly, murderous, and sexual.
The idea of a child's toy totally deformed. Also, much like a real child, Chucky wants to take over his owner's life and kill his soul. Child's Play is the junction of scary baby/pregnancy movies (Rosemary's Baby, It's Alive, The Brood, etc.) and little monsters (Critters, Troll, Puppetmaster, etc.) all of which tap into fears about parenthood, childbirth, and -- if you are a man -- things relating to vaginas. Spooky vaginas! #5.
The Monster: The Grudge
What You're Really Scared Of: Foreigners This stringy-haired wet lady is hard to understand. She REALLY wants to talk -- she even uses the phone a few times -- but her speech sounds to us like "ching chong ching chong!" Oop, I mean it sounds like "ggguuuhuhgghghhh". The vulnerability associated with being submerged in a foreign culture can be scary, but it's hard to address without being racist.
The girl from The Grudge acts and sounds totally opposite from the way normal humans do -- she floats on ceilings and occasionally lives underwater! You can't understand a thing she says! And you can probably guess which way her vagina goes. The original Japanese version had more to do with viruses and disease, which to a US audience clearly isn't as scary as Japanese people. #4.
The Monster: Vampires
What You're Really Scared Of: *Trick Question, Vampires are NOT Scary* Don't lie. No one is scared of Vampires anymore. Vampires haven't been scary since 1994.
What was once a vicious blood sucking monster has become a romantic character conflicted because the strength of his kiss will surely kill the woman he wants to love. Anne Rice cut the balls off of Vampires. They are now imaginary gay boyfriends for goth girls. #3.
The Monster: Leatherface
What You're Really Scared Of: Old Timey Executioners and Your Guilty Conscience On the one hand, it's easy to find a reason to be scared of a retarded guy with a chainsaw. But there is an extra level of menace in Leatherface (or Michael Meyers, or Jason, or the guy from Jeepers Creepers) because he is wearing a mask. These guys are executioners, punishing their victims for their sins. Even when they have no apparent sins, they probably at least listen to rock music or want to have sex. Close enough!
The mask and the mental disability both cripple the ability to feel or communicate empathy. No matter what you do, Leatherface is not going to look sad, or happy, or anything -- he's not angry, he's just going to kill you. And deep down, you know the real reason you can't stop it is because you deserve it. #2.
The Monster: Everything in Hellraiser
What You're Really Scared Of: Sex/Herpes This whole movie is about how sex will drive you crazy -- either you'll get so into it that you travel to an alternate dimension looking for even more painful sex, or you'll get so addicted to one dude's zombie dick that you'll kill people just to put some skin back on it. More specifically, a lot of the monsters in Hellraiser look like personified stages of herpes.
You've got an open sore in the attic, eating people for parts, and then there's the angry genital blister running around trying to snatch a virgin. Sex is gruesome! P.S., Your parents are doing it. #1.
The Monster: The Thing
What You're Really Scared Of: Messed up, Scary-ass Shit. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a secret deeper level -- this is just fucking scary.
Check out more from Eliza at ElizaSkinner.net. |
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I thought the article was good and made sense (I especially liked the connection made between Leatherface/Jason Vorhees type characters and old, medeival exectutions. One I never noticed, that now seems obvious honestly).
I second the guy who says people are reading to much into this s**t. It's supposed to entertainment. You can make all kind of arguments, relating any monster to any sub-conscious fear. I think monsters can be scary to different people for different reasons.
the first movie I was scared by, was the Satanic rite's of Dracula. I went to a Christian school growing up, and since they scared the s**t out of me, I was f*****g scared by the idea of a Satanic cult. Other people wacthed it, and just saw a campy 70s, british horror movie, with lots of fake blood, and titte flashes. I thought I was going to hell for watching a movie with Satan in the title. back to the original point; different thigns are scary to different people for different reasons
I always thought King's IT was kinda hilarious. Especially the ending, it's so retarded. I WAS afraid of clown before I saw the movie but after it I realized that they were, in fact, just the alternative form to a giant arachnid. And I love arachnids.
many of you people are taking this to be a serious article. if it is, it's horribly off the mark. however, seeing as how it's written on a HUMOR site it seems to me to be tongue-in-cheek (come on, hellraiser as herpes? lol!) well done!
Wow. Not only was the article totally off the mark on at least 3 major ones (clowns - which are horrifying even to little kids, even ones who've never heard of Steven King; dolls - same as clowns and it's hard to claim a deeper meaning to something that's freaky to us 'cause it freaked us out when we were 4 for the very simple reason that they sit there with their eyes open all the time and stare in the night; and 'The Grudge' - this one is one of those weird connections that one person makes and then attributes to everyone else to pretend that it doesn't make them weird for noticing, or somehow superior for pointing out what they WISH everyone else thought, too - and of course, pointing out that it's wrong only means that you're attempting to deny what's so obvious to the author) what's clearly worse is reading some of the rationalizations that are in the comments. Someone notices some obscure potential connection between a monster and some sort of person and then assumes that EVERYONE that's scared of that creature must've made that leap, how clever to have figured it out! Vampires somehow relate to illegal aliens? Yeah . . . clearly Bram Stoker was horrified a Transylvanian was going to come take his job. Christ. Kudos on zomies and The Thing, but the rest of this is pretty much a waste.
hey we can also be scarred of paper-cuttin our eyeball, hmm seems real but heck: try makin a monster out of it!
I liked the article very much. I agree the thing is freaky, but I think its actually supposed to symbolize HIV/AIDS and other types of sexually and otherwise transmitted diseases that you cannot tell the other person has (only in the remake from the 80's). You can make this connection by first putting yourself in the 80's right after casual sex went all haywire and AIDS became a large issue. Notice that you cannot tell who is infected by "The Thing" just by looking, and in fact you can only tell by testing their blood. Which incidentally is poisoned beyond all belief and sizzles like a fajita.
Another link, which I don't like to refer to as often because I cannot for myself decide if I totally agree, is that there is a connection to gay men. The argument goes that at the time, and really even still today, there is a societal connection between homosexual men and AIDS. This is personified by having a bunch of verily stranded men in close quarters. And of course there are no women at all in the whole movie. I think this particular argument is not as obvious or useful, which is why I don't openly endorse it, but I thought just as well to present it.
All of these things came up in my Science Fiction Film class in college, and were discussed in class after watching the Thing, and none of them were laughed out of the room which makes me fairly confident that they are valid points lol.
Isn't it more likely that vampires are scary because they need things from humans to survive? For a zombie, it just kinda wants you dead (not discounting the, "Braaaaains!" type of zombie), but for a vampire, it's your life or his. That kind of direct confrontation with an uncertain ending is what people are scared of.
Actually, I believe the real world fear behind vampires (pre-Anne Rice, of course) is rabies. Think about it. Rabies causes its victims to become more aggressive and increase production of saliva... in order to transfer the virus to other people. Bats are the most common carriers of rabies, that's why they've become associated with vampires in the first place.
I agree with this article,except for the grudge.The grudge is scary because she can appear at any moment and kill you because you stepped into their turf.That kinda sounds to me like gang violence but I could be wrong
The blogger dropped the ball on vampires. Of course they're scary, at least for some people. And what they stand in for is immigrants, especially illegal ones. Like vampires, illegal aliens come upon us under cover of darkness. They find it nearly impossible to talk without using foreign accents. They "suck our blood" by consuming our welfare rolls. And a large number of them are refusing to assimilate and, through groups like La Raza, are trying to TURN US INTO THEM! So if you find vampire movies scary, what you're really afraid of are Mexicans. Either that, or mimes with really bad overbites. (Sorry to sound xenophobic, but there it is.)
Oh, and "The Thing" has to do with the fear of either going insane or being brainwashed.
this is very incitful, but if vampires aren't scary, y are they on the list? also, i think the thing has a secret deep level. The thing can turn into any1 or anything, so u don't know who to trust. It's social paranoia. Plus, it's a sick-ass movie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liS2csDM25Y
The thing is easily one of the scariest movies I have ever seen.
Chucky's not babies. Not by a long shot. Chucky is the uncanny valley. As an artificial humanoid creation, there is a certain level of human likeness such a creation can have before it starts causing feelings of fear and revulsion. In layman's terms, a robot or doll can only become so humanlike before it starts to get creepy. Chucky is this fear of automatons and robots one day being sentient enough to kill us. With technology's progress, that possibility is growing.
some of your article are so awesomely funny, and others are just a monumental waste of my time
And 30 Days of Night was an atrocity to vampire-lore. I loathe blood-bath style horror movies-there's no skill involved. Made vampires into animals. Stupid animals too.
I'd counter that we're not truly scared of clowns...we're scared that they're secretly Pennywise. I'm not scare that he's going to pull me into a sewer and molest me, I'm scare he's going to rip my arm of and chew on my face.
Oh, and I'd go a step further and say that vampires have never been truly scary. Sure we don't particularly like the idea of a crazy Satanist slitting our wrists and tying us naked to an altar...but c'mon, Dracula has been the sexiest transient being in existence since his inception. All the ladies know that while they'd be peeing themselves...they wouldn't run away. Yeah he'd probably kill you...but what a way to go... Plus there's always the hope that he'll just transform you into a impossibly georgeous nymphomaniac like himself.
Oh and screw all you judgemental people! I'd have Edward's freaky half-breed baby!
i like how for vampires on of the pic's is from 30 days of night, a film that puts the f*****g freaky back in vampires.
I saw the Thing, and indeed, IT IS SOME SCARY ASS, MESSED UP, s**t!! Also, I think that the Flood in Halo are based on the Thing, it steals your body and mutates to have tentacles! Completely the same!
When I'd get up in the middle of the night I'd have to stand on my bed and jump off so whatever was under there couldn't reach my ankles. Phone recordings freak me out, and that sound it makes when it's been left off the hook too long, CREEPY!!!
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i'm not scared of foreigners. but i AM scared of clowns and perverts >.<