The Cryptic Messenger perpetually leaves the same mysterious message regardless of whom they are calling or the purpose of their call:
"Hi, this is Melvin. Call me back."
If you're lucky enough to have been selected to do them a favor, they'll occasionally offer this variation:
"Hi, this is Melvin. I had a question I wanted to ask you... call me back."
They leave the voicemail equivalent of a Monopoly Chance card, except it's always something shitty and self-serving.
Why They Do This:
This repulsively self-centered person has very little respect for you. To them, you have nothing better to do than solve the great puzzle of why a magnificent person such as them called you. They believe that the only way people will return their calls is if they arouse their curiosity. In most cases, they know that people will have no interest in what they are calling about, so they dare not actually reveal it via voicemail, which paradoxically negates the purpose of their call.
"Even if I explained it, you wouldn't understand."