We would talk about what an accomplishment this is for us, but of course that would be ignoring the fact that you guys write the site for us. So, really it's your accomplishment. Good job.
Since we are still putting the book together, this also means if you sign up to write for us you may very well be able to call yourself a published writer by this time next year, since if your article is good enough, we'll throw it in the book. This is important, because it's well known that telling a woman you're a published writer will make her pants shoot off so hard they'll instantly be nothing more than a speck sailing over the horizon.
That's Ernest Hemingway. We don't know who the chick and neither does Ernest Hemingway.
Now for the less pleasant rumor, that the Department of Justice has launched Microsoft-style anti-trust charges against Cracked based on our "utter dominance of all forms of media" and "unconscionable levels of awesomeness".