Magic Negro-gate: How Liberals Confused Obama With Kazaam
January 8th, 2009
By: Robert Brockway
So the news sites I pretend to check when people walk in on me looking at porn at the local library told me something interesting about black people today: Apparently, they...
Cracked Columnists
More Like WebLAME Awards. WebSTUPID Awards. For JERKS.
Jan 9, 2009
By:
Daniel O'Brien
2012 ... The Realistic Edition
Jan 7, 2009
By:
Michael Swaim
Tags
- 2008 (1)
- 2008 Election (8)
- 2008 Presidential Campaign (10)
- 2012 (1)
- 24 (2)
- 3D Realms (1)
- A Millions Little Pieces (1)
- Academy Awards (3)
- Adam West (1)
- Address (1)
- Advertising (28)
- Africa (1)
- Ahmadinejad (1)
- Ahmet Zappa (1)
- AIG (1)
- Al Gore (1)
- Alcohol (3)
- ali lohan (1)
- Aliens (3)
- Amazon (1)
- America (5)
- American Apparel (2)
- American Idol (4)
- Amusement Parks (1)
- Amy Winehouse (3)
- An American Carol (1)
- and the Masters of the Universe (1)
- Anderson Cooper (1)
- Angelina Jolie (1)
- Animals (24)
- Animation (2)
- Anne Coulter (1)
- Anne Hathaway (1)
- Anonymous (2)
- Anthrax (1)
- Anti-Drug (1)
- Apocalypse (3)
- Apple (5)
- Aquadots (1)
- Archaeology (1)
- Archie (1)
- Armageddon (1)
- Army (4)
- Arrested Development (1)
- Arrests (1)
- Art (1)
- Articles (1)
- Assault (1)
- Auctions (1)
- Audio (1)
- Babies (1)
- baby (1)
- Baby Names (1)
- Back In My Day (1)
- Bacteria (1)
- badass (1)
- Bailout (1)
- Baldwins (1)
- Barack Obama (10)
- barbara walters (1)
- Barf (1)
- Baskin-Robbins (1)
- Bastards (2)
- Batman (2)
- Batman Begins (1)
- Beards (2)
- Beatles Movies That Piss Me Off (2)
- Beauty Pageants (1)
- Beer (1)
- Beer Pong (1)
- Ben Affleck (1)
- Ben Stiller (1)
- Bigotry (1)
- Bile (1)
- Bill Nye (1)
- Bill O'Reilly (3)
- Blackness (1)
- Blizzard (1)
- Blue Cross (1)
- Bob Dylan (1)
- Bob Stokes (1)
- Bono (1)
- books (5)
- Boondock Saints (1)
- Boy Scouts (1)
- Breasts (4)
- Brendan Fraser (1)
- Britney Spears (10)
- Broadway (1)
- Brothers O'Brien (1)
- Bryan Singer (1)
- Buddha (1)
- Bugs (1)
- Bugs Bunny (1)
- bullshit (1)
- Bush (2)
- Butt-Babies (1)
- California Adventure (1)
- California Wildfires (1)
- Californication (1)
- Campaigns (2)
- Canada (2)
- candy (1)
- Carbon Nano-Tubes (1)
- Carlos Mencia (1)
- Cars (2)
- Cartoons (2)
- Casual Encounters (1)
- Cat (3)
- Catholic (1)
- Celebrities (31)
- Celebrities are Beautiful (10)
- Celebrity News (14)
- Celebrity Quotes Quiz (1)
- CGI (2)
- Charity (1)
- Chat (1)
- Cheez-its (1)
- Child Pornography (1)
- Children (1)
- Children of Men (1)
- China (8)
- Chinese Democracy (1)
- chris is Casnadian (2)
- Christians (1)
- Christmas (7)
- Church (1)
- church of scientology (1)
- Cilantro (1)
- citizen justice (1)
- Class War (1)
- Clay Aiken (2)
- Cloning (1)
- Cloverfield (3)
- CNN (4)
- Collaborative Blogging (2)
- College (1)
- Comebacks (1)
- Comedy (4)
- Comedy Legends (3)
- Comics (5)
- commercials (1)
- Con Men (1)
- Conan O'Brien (2)
- Congo (1)
- Conspiracies (7)
- Contains Pictures That Make Me Want To . . . (10)
- contests (1)
- cops (1)
- Copyright (1)
- Cracked (7)
- Cracked Celebrity News (1)
- Cracked Event (1)
- Cracked Has Too Many Tags (1)
- Cracked House (4)
- Cracked Movie News (1)
- Cracked Science Corner (3)
- Craigslist (2)
- Crazy (9)
- Crazy Bishop (1)
- Crime (10)
- Cuba (1)
- Cuil (1)
- Dan Miller (1)
- Dancing (1)
- Dane Cook (1)
- Darjeeling Limited (2)
- Darth Vader (2)
- Date Rape (1)
- Dating (1)
- David Bowie (3)
- David Duchovny (1)
- David Hasselhoff (1)
- Dead Babies (1)
- Dead People (1)
- Death (7)
- Denmark (1)
- Dennis Kucinich (1)
- Digg (1)
- Dilbert (1)
- dina lohan (1)
- Dinosaurs (4)
- Dirty Sexy Money (2)
- disappointment (1)
- Disaster Movies (1)
- Disenfranchisement (1)
- Disney (1)
- Disneyland (2)
- Divorce (4)
- DOB is like a deceiful homeless woman (1)
- DOB is like a deceitful homeless woman (6)
- DOB is Spider-Man (4)
- DOB's Abs are Incredible (1)
- DOB/ODB in 08 (2)
- Documentaries (1)
- Dogs (5)
- Don't Steal from Cracked (1)
- Douchebags (29)
- Dov Charney (1)
- Drugs (4)
- Dubai Land (1)
- Duke Nukem Forever (1)
- Dung (1)
- Dungeons and Dragons (2)
- DVDs (2)
- Earth (1)
- Earthquake (1)
- Eating Disorder (2)
- eBay (1)
- Economy (3)
- Einstein (1)
- Election '08 (2)
- Elections (1)
- Elevator (1)
- Eminem (1)
- Emmys (2)
- Emo Kids (1)
- Employment (2)
- Ender's Game (2)
- Environmentalists (3)
- Erotic Services (1)
- Europe (2)
- Eurovision (1)
- Everybody Sucks (1)
- Everyone is going to hate this post. (1)
- Explosive Harpoons (1)
- Extinct Animals (1)
- Face Transplant (1)
- Fagstronaut (1)
- Farrah Fawcett (1)
- Farrelly Brothers (1)
- Fashion (8)
- Fat Cops (1)
- Fatties (2)
- FBI (1)
- Feces (1)
- Feynman (1)
- Fido (1)
- Fighting (1)
- Financial (2)
- Fingernails (1)
- Firefly (1)
- Flat Earth (1)
- florida (1)
- Flying Cars (1)
- Fodder for those accusing me of racism (1)
- Food (6)
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall (1)
- Fox (3)
- FoxNews (3)
- Fraggle Rock (1)
- France (1)
- Fred Claus (1)
- Freddy (1)
- Freedom (1)
- Frosting shots (1)
- Funky Bunch (1)
- Futurama (1)
- Garth Brooks (1)
- Gary Coleman (1)
- Gary Gygax (2)
- Gay (3)
- Gay Marriage (1)
- Gayness (1)
- Geico (1)
- Gene Simmons (1)
- George Bush (5)
- George Carlin (1)
- George Harrison (1)
- George Washington (1)
- Germs (1)
- Ghosts (1)
- GI Joe (1)
- Gillian Anderson (2)
- Gladstone (1)
- Gladstone loves Gladstone (1)
- Global Warming (2)
- God (3)
- Golden Globes (1)
- Gong (1)
- Good Luck Chuck (1)
- Google (3)
- Gossip (1)
- Government (1)
- GPS (2)
- Grand Theft Auto (1)
- Greeneace (1)
- Greenpeace (1)
- Gross (1)
- GTA IV (3)
- Guides (1)
- Guillermo Del Toro (2)
- Guitar Hero (1)
- Guns (1)
- Guns N' Roses (1)
- Halle Berry (1)
- Halloween (10)
- Halo 3 (5)
- Hancock (1)
- Hannah Montana (2)
- Hanukkah (1)
- Harbingers of Doom (1)
- Harry Potter (2)
- Hate By Numbers (18)
- Hayden Panettiere (1)
- He-Man (1)
- Heath Ledger (2)
- Heavenly (1)
- Heroes (12)
- Herpes (1)
- Hillary Clinton (2)
- hillary duff (1)
- History (2)
- Holidays (2)
- Hollywood (5)
- Holograms (2)
- Homeless (1)
- Homelessness (1)
- Homosexuality (2)
- Horatio Sans (1)
- HornBlasters (1)
- Horrible (1)
- Horrible Lighting and Continuity Errors (1)
- horse cock (1)
- House (1)
- Hugh Laurie (1)
- hulk (1)
- Hulk Hogan (1)
- I hate my co-bloggers (19)
- I have a time machine (1)
- I Live Inside a Tiger (1)
- I take comic books way too seriously (1)
- I was briefly a porn star. (1)
- I Will Toss Your Salad For A Nominal Fee (1)
- I'm a Nerd (2)
- Ice Cream (1)
- Idiots (25)
- If Cracked Goes Offline Tomorrow You'll Know Why (1)
- Ike Turner (1)
- Illegal Immigration (1)
- Indecent Exposure (1)
- Independence Day (1)
- India (1)
- Indiana Jones (2)
- indohyus (1)
- Inevitability (1)
- Infidelity (1)
- Infosys (1)
- Injuries (1)
- Intelligent Design (1)
- Internet (35)
- Internet Rationing (1)
- Inventions (12)
- iPhone (5)
- Iraq (3)
- Ironman (1)
- Irony (2)
- Isabella Rossellini (1)
- Isabelle Dinoire (1)
- Jack Nicholson (2)
- Jack O'Brien Hates America (7)
- Jack Thompson (1)
- Jail (1)
- Jamie Lynn Spears (1)
- Japan (12)
- Jay- (1)
- Jay-Z and I are friends (4)
- Jeanane Garofalo (1)
- Jenna Bush (1)
- Jessica Alba (2)
- Jessica Sierra (1)
- Jesus (3)
- Jews (2)
- Jim Carrey (1)
- Jim Henson (1)
- Jimi Hendrix (1)
- Joe Biden (2)
- John McCain (4)
- John Travolta (1)
- Jon Stewart (1)
- Jones Soda (1)
- Josh Groban (1)
- Joss Stone (1)
- Journey to the Center of the Earth (1)
- Judd Apatow (1)
- Jude Law (1)
- Judge Dredd (1)
- Junk Science (1)
- Jurassic Park (1)
- Justin Timberlake (3)
- Kanye West (1)
- Kate Hudson (1)
- Kate Moss (3)
- Kenny G (1)
- Kevin Federline (2)
- Kid Rock (2)
- Kids (9)
- Kim Cattrall (1)
- Kindle (1)
- Kirsten Bell (2)
- Knol (1)
- Labor Day (1)
- Language (1)
- Larry Craig (1)
- Larry King (3)
- Lauren Bacall (1)
- Law (8)
- Lawsuit (1)
- Lawsuits (2)
- Led Zeppelin (4)
- Lego (1)
- LGBT (1)
- Libel (1)
- Life (1)
- Lindsay Lohan (6)
- Little People (2)
- Lord of the Rings (1)
- Los Angeles (2)
- lottery (1)
- Love and Consequences (1)
- M. Night Shamalan (1)
- Mace and Machete (3)
- macocroni grill (1)
- Macworld (2)
- MAD Magazine (1)
- Madonna (2)
- Maggie Gyllenhaal (1)
- Magic (1)
- Maid (1)
- Mammoths (1)
- Manifesto (1)
- Marilyn Monroe (3)
- Mark Wahlberg (1)
- Marky Mark (1)
- Mars (1)
- Martin Scorsese (1)
- Masturbation (1)
- Maxim (1)
- Mayans (1)
- Measure For Measure (1)
- Medical News (1)
- Medical Oddities (1)
- Medicine (1)
- Meet the Spartans (1)
- Meg White (1)
- Merriam-Webster (1)
- Metal (1)
- Metal Gear (1)
- Meth (1)
- Mexico (2)
- Michael Bolton (1)
- Michael Jackson (1)
- Michael Moore (1)
- Michael Stipe (1)
- Michael Swaim is Dead (1)
- Microsoft (4)
- midnight meat train (1)
- Mike Myers (1)
- Miley Cyrus (1)
- Mira Sorvino (1)
- Misha (1)
- Mitt Romney (1)
- Moby (1)
- Money (5)
- Monkeys (2)
- Montana (1)
- Morons (1)
- Movie Review (2)
- Movies (51)
- Mr. T (1)
- MTV (1)
- Mudslinging (1)
- Muhammed (1)
- Muppets (1)
- Murder Most Foul (1)
- Music (53)
- My 97 Nissan Sentra (2)
- My Birthday (1)
- My Chemical Romance (1)
- My Life (1)
- My Penis is 8 Inches (1)
- Naked People (1)
- NASA (2)
- necrobestiality (2)
- Nelson Mandela (1)
- Nevada Debates (1)
- New Years (1)
- New York (1)
- New York Magazine (1)
- News (78)
- News Celebrities (1)
- NewSaxon.org (1)
- Newspapers (1)
- Nickelodeon (1)
- Nicolas Cage (1)
- Nigeria (1)
- Nigersaurus (1)
- Nintendo 64 (1)
- Nirvana (1)
- Nobel Prize (1)
- noir (1)
- Nooners (147)
- Norway (1)
- nudity (1)
- O'Brindle (1)
- Oasis (2)
- Ohio (1)
- Oils (1)
- OJ Simpson (1)
- Old People (5)
- Oliver Stone (1)
- Olympics (3)
- Online Gaming (1)
- Oprah (1)
- Oprah Winfrey (1)
- Orlando Bloom (1)
- Orphans (2)
- Orson Scott Card (2)
- Oscar Wilde (1)
- Oscars (1)
- Our System of Wealth Distribution is Laughable (1)
- Owen Wilson (1)
- Ozzy Osbourne (1)
- P. Diddy (1)
- Pamela Anderson (2)
- Parents (1)
- Paris Hilton (4)
- pasta (1)
- Patents (1)
- Paul Giamatti (1)
- Paul McCartney (3)
- Pedophilia (3)
- penelope cruz (1)
- Penises (5)
- People I Don't Care About Who Make Blogging Possible (10)
- Perverts (2)
- PETA (2)
- Phil Spector (1)
- Phoenix Lander (1)
- Photoshop (1)
- Physics (1)
- Pirates XXX (1)
- Pixar (1)
- Playstation 3 (7)
- Poetry (1)
- Police (4)
- Police Sting (1)
- Politics (18)
- Poodles (1)
- Poop (1)
- Popes (1)
- Porn (3)
- pornography (2)
- Pornotube (1)
- Posts That Make Your Friends Stop Talking To You (1)
- Pranks (1)
- Predictions (1)
- Pregnancy (4)
- Presents (1)
- President Barack Obama (1)
- Prison Palz (1)
- Prisoners (1)
- Product Recall (1)
- Products (7)
- Protests (2)
- PSAs (1)
- PSU (1)
- Puppets (1)
- Pure (1)
- Quantum Theory (1)
- Queen Elizabeth II (1)
- Quotes (1)
- R. Kelly (2)
- Rachel Bilson (1)
- Racism (4)
- Radiohead (4)
- Rap (11)
- Rape (1)
- rapetude (1)
- Raw Horseflesh (1)
- Ray Gun (1)
- Ray Guns (1)
- Ray Liotta is Handsome (1)
- Reality TV (1)
- Really Bad Graphics (1)
- Recession (1)
- Rehab (2)
- Religion (9)
- Restaurants (2)
- Reviews (1)
- RIAA (1)
- Rich People (2)
- Richard Jewell (1)
- Rick Salomon (1)
- Rickroll (1)
- Ricky Gervais (1)
- Rihanna (1)
- Riots (2)
- Rivers Cuomo (1)
- Road House (1)
- Robert Downey Jr. (1)
- Robots (7)
- rock (1)
- Rock Band (3)
- Rockabilly (1)
- Rodney Dangerfield (1)
- Rodney King (1)
- Roland Emmerich (1)
- Rosie O'Donnell (1)
- Ross is the Zodiac Killer (5)
- Rotten Tomatoes (2)
- Rumors (3)
- Ryan Seacrest (1)
- Sales Genie (1)
- Salma Hayek (1)
- Samuel L. Jackson (1)
- San Francisco Zoo (1)
- Santa Claus (1)
- Sarah Palin (5)
- Satan (1)
- saturated fat (1)
- Scams (1)
- Scenesters (1)
- Science (19)
- Science Fiction (1)
- Science News (4)
- Science Stuff (3)
- Scienitists (3)
- Scientology (6)
- Scott Adams (1)
- Scouts (1)
- Scum (1)
- Second Life (1)
- See What Sticks (1)
- Selling Out (1)
- Selma Hayek (1)
- Seven Deadly Sins (1)
- Sex (18)
- Sex Addiction (1)
- Sex and the City (1)
- Sex Scandals (1)
- Sex Tape (3)
- Sex Tapes (3)
- Shakespeare (1)
- Shaq (2)
- Sharon Stone (1)
- Shia LaBeouf (1)
- Shia TheBeef (1)
- Shit (1)
- Shitty States (1)
- Shmitney Shmears (1)
- Shoe (1)
- Sienna Miller (2)
- Simpsons Did It (1)
- Singing (2)
- Sketch Comedy (1)
- ski resort (1)
- skiing (1)
- Slander (2)
- smashing pumpkins (1)
- Social Networking (5)
- Soul Caliber IV (1)
- South Africa (1)
- South by Southwest (1)
- Space (6)
- Space Exploration (1)
- Special Effects (1)
- Spice Girls (3)
- Spider-Man (3)
- Sports (6)
- Sputnik (1)
- Squirrel (1)
- Stalker (1)
- Stan Winston (1)
- Star Trek (2)
- Star Wars (6)
- Starpulse (2)
- starr jones (1)
- STDs (3)
- Steve Jobs (2)
- Steven Seagal (1)
- Strike (1)
- Stuff That Happened Last Night (1)
- Stupid Human Tricks (1)
- Sundance (1)
- Super Bowl (4)
- Super Smash Brothers (2)
- Superheroes (2)
- SUperpowers (1)
- Supreme Court (1)
- Survival Guide (2)
- Swaim tried to rape a dog (5)
- Swayze (1)
- Sylvester Stallone (1)
- T.I. (1)
- Taco Bell (2)
- Tags that are way too awesome to go together (2)
- Tatiana (1)
- Tattoos (3)
- technology (4)
- Teenagers (4)
- Television (8)
- Terrifying (4)
- Terrorism (5)
- That Bitch Who Plays Hannah Montana (14)
- The 2008 Election (1)
- The 2008 Presidential Campaign (4)
- The Apocalypse (1)
- The Back-Up (1)
- The Beatles (1)
- The Big Give (1)
- The CRACKED Blog Has Way Too Many Tags (2)
- The Daily Show (1)
- The Dark Crystal (1)
- The Dark Knight (1)
- The Demolition Man (1)
- The Economy (1)
- The Elderly (1)
- The End of Rational Thought (1)
- The Future (2)
- The Game (1)