15 Now-You-Know Facts That Really Wetzled Our Pretzels

You know what's the most interesting thing in the world? The number of things that aren't interesting. There's a lot of them. I enjoy this list of interesting facts because I enjoy the number of things that aren't interesting, but also because I don't have any friends, and these facts are all I've got to look forward to. You know what else is the most interesting thing in the world? The fact that I have no friends. This is a strange thing for me to think about. If you'd asked me at the beginning of my life if I wanted to be friends with other people, I'd have laughed and said ‘hell yeah!’ and then gotten together with all my friends and gone out for burgers. But now, there are no more friends, and I can't stop thinking about the fact that I've lost them all, and how strange it is that I enjoy this list of interesting facts.