20 Facts That Anyone Can Read On The Toilet

A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) there lived a great wizard, named Villi. The wizard had a young apprentice named… well… Villi. Villi was a curious lad, but not so clever as his master. He could barely cast the simplest cantrip. So Villi's master made him do all sorts of things to keep him occupied. He made him sort rocks into piles. He made him measure out ingredients for potions. And he made him enjoy this list of interesting facts about the universe.

You see, Villi was the first person in the history of the universe to have knowledge of these things. He had not studied them in school, he had not read about them in books, he had not learned them from an uncle, or an aunt, or an older sibling. No one before him ever knew these things. He just knew them. He knew them because he was born knowing them, and he had not forgotten them since.