25 Headlines That We Were Not Prepared For

No, a witness did not fart while testifying during Johnny Depp’s trial.

“I don't have a lot of faith in my abilities,” the emperor confessed. “I'm not even sure how this all started.” He looked down at his hands, folded on a wooden desk, and then looked back up. He seemed embarrassed by that admission. “I mean… it's just one big mistake after another…” he trailed off.

The emperor looked at his hands again, inhaled, and sighed deeply.

He was slouched in an ornately decorated wooden chair. There were many paintings on the walls and a large fireplace to one side that was currently unlit but would likely be burning when winter came. The emperor himself had never been much for fire. It made the place smell like ash and burnt wood, which wasn't exactly what one wanted to smell around here.

Not too far above the fireplace, there was a list of odd facts hanging on a wall, for reasons probably known only to the emperor himself. That list went …

Penis-like pitcher plants are being pinched.

Live Science

The Lottery

CNN

Cheese fraud just got a new hightech counter.

Yahoo

Russia is taping basic GPS receivers to the dashboards of their fighter jets.

MSN

The “we have food at home” excuse no longer works on the new generation.

Star Telegram

There are more Airbnb rentals than actual apartments in NYC.

Curbed

Flying Dog will have the right to feature the silhouette of a naked man on their labels.

AP News

Music and Cheese

ABC

The Ritz-Carlton

ABC

Australian PM Scott Morrison is walking back “I don’t hold a hose” comments.

ABC

Vancouver Island women are just built different.

CBC

A 20-year-old told police to catch him if they could, and they absolutely could.

BBC

Police make a young woman’s dream come true: being arrested.

WAFF

A Johnny Cash mural is perpetually peeing in his birth town.

Kansas

A woman jumped into a spider monkey enclosure to feed the animals Cheetos.

KVIA

Two fast food shootings that happened right next to each other on the same day were not related.

AJC

George W. accidentally called the Iraq invasion 'unjustified and brutal.'

Sky News

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