20 Historical Figures Known For Their Flatulence
Farting is as natural as breathing. As natural as eating, because you need it to survive. But across time - and maybe space too- farting is considered taboo. Something to hold in and never let go, unless you are ready to face the consequences.
Fart jokes aren't as common as they were in the 80s and 90s, and that humor might be considered for more immature audiences, even when it's clear that everyone laughs at a good fart joke.
Nonetheless, farting has been a subject of study for scholars and historians. Some essays reveal that unexpected farts can start wars, while others suggest they are a weapon against evil forces. Farts were one of the few reasons a person could be cancelled before the 20th century. And, in some cases, they were the reason to be exiled to a faraway land until everybody forgot about the accidental wind. Farts a key element of human history, and we are here to prove it.
Apries and Amasis
According to Greek historian Herodotus, a fart was the decisive action that set in motion a revolt in ancient Egypt. King Apries sent his loyal General, Amasis, to stop a rebellion, but he was instead crowned as their new leader. When Apries sent another messenger, Amasis farted and said, “Carry that back to Apries,” initiating a belic conflict like no other.
A Roman Soldier
In Jerusalem in 44 A.D, a Roman soldier farted in front of a group of Jews celebrating Passover. The Jews got angry and stoned the soldier, but after a while, backup arrived, and the ridiculous situation ended in bloodshed. At least according to Josephus’ The Jewish War.
Francois Rabelais
Francois Rabelais' Gargantua and Pantagruel (1532) is considered the first fantasy novel in history, and it features a fart like no other. In the story, a giant farted so hard that “the earth trembled for twenty-seven miles round.” What’s more, it created life. More precisely, “fifty-three thousand little men, misshapen dwarfs.”
Henry Ludlow
Henry Ludlow, a British Member of Parliament in 1607, farted during the voting session, creating a primitive version of a meme. This particular case inspired poems and other humorous writing, but there are no other cases of people expressing their votes with their butt.
Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay called "Fart Proudly" in 1781, while he was the US Ambassador in France. Franklin believed European academic societies were too pretentious, and suggested that they research methods of improving the odor of human flatulence. Sadly, it was never published, but he shared it among friends.
Joseph Pujol
Joseph Pujol adopted the stage name Le Petomane (that could be translated as fartomaniac) after discovering an incredible talent: he could inhale with his anus and expel it. His shows would consist of him doing this over and over to smoke cigars, blow out candles, and play the flute.
Bernard Clemmens
Of course there’s a Guinness World Record for the longest recorded fart in history. It belongs to Bernard Clemmens, who ripped one for 2 minutes and 42 seconds straight. Don’t try it at home.
Elagabalus
The Roman Emperor Elagabalus seems to be one of the first to use a whoopee cushion at parties to prank his guests. Archeologist Warwick Ball asserts Elagabalus was ahead of his time.
Jonathan Swift
Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver's Travels, might have been one of Ben Franklin’s inspirations, as he also wrote a satirical pamphlet in 1722 called “The Benefit of Farting Explain'd.” He used the topic to mock social taboos, the public's obsession with Italian opera, and the conventions of polite society.
Edward the Vere
According to the biographer John Aubrey, the 17th Earl of Oxford Edward the Vere once farted while making a low bow to Queen Elizabeth I. Apparently, he could’t natke the embarrassment, and immediately fled the country and didn’t come back for seven years.
Abu Hasan
One Thousand and One Nights features a similar tale, where the main character, Abu Hasan, lets out a fart during a banquet. While everyone around him pretended they didn’t notice, he went outside, mounted his horse, and left the place without looking back.
Claudius
Roman Emperor Claudius thought of an edict that allowed people to fart loudly during dinners where more than 600 guests would gather. It is said that he came to this realization after learning of a man who died trying to hold one in.
Saint Augustine
Christian Philosopher Saint Augustine is not remembered in history for his farts, but he did write about the subject. In City of God, he talks about “flatuists," Algerian street performers who had "such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." He would’ve loved Le Petomane.
Metrocles and Crates
Metrocles of Maroneia was a philosopher who accidentally farted during a speech, and was so embarrassed that he tried to starve to death. Shortly after, the cynic philosopher Crates paid him a visit and farted in front of him to show that it’s completely natural for humans to fart. This made Metrocles become a full-time cynic from then on.
Dante Alighieri
In Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy, the demon Malacoda signals his fellow demons to move forward by using their "ass as a trumpet." Leave it to Dante to keep making jokes even in the deepest circles of hell.
Martin Luther
Martin Luther, responsible for the Protestant Reformation of the Church, used to talk a lot about farts. His most memorable quote says, “A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.” He also recommended to fart in the presence of the Devil, to scare him away.
Mark Twain
Mark Twain also wrote a satirical text to criticize literary conventions and good manners. In “1601:Conversation, as it was by the Social Fireside, in the Time of the Tudors,” he parodied Queen Elizabeth I, including a mystery around a flatulence of origins unknown.
Moctezuma II
Chronicler Bernal Díaz del Castillo recorded that during a tense meeting between the Spanish and the Aztecs in 1519, a Spanish man farted in front of the Emperor Moctezuma II. Apparently, that was so offensive that the Emperor ended up tolerating all Spanish visitors except for that one guy.
Roland the Farter
There was a famous jester in the court of King Henry II of England during the 12th century. Roland the Farter attended every annual Christmas court to perform "one jump, one whistle, and one fart" with what was probably great discipline. King Henry II granted him a manor and 30 acres of land in Suffolk for his performances.
Cold Turkey (1971)
While many people assume that Blazing Saddles (1974) was the first big Hollywood movie to make a fart joke, that title belongs to Cold Turkey (1971), by legendary writer Norman Lear. The movie was supposed to come out in 1969, but producers were concerned about its box-office potential, especially because the character that farts was played by Edward Everett Horton, who died in 1970.