29 Silly Excerpts From Your Science and History Textbooks

We set our highlighters to ‘wacky’

It’s no secret that science and history can be pretty stuffy. We were just at a dinner party with them, and their cocky, hoity-toity ramblings about their latest discoveries almost made us gag. We thought we’d liven up the party by telling everybody about their wild college days. 

See, we’re old pals of theirs, so they can act all high and mighty all they want, but we’ve seen their immaturity at its finest. And would you look at that? We even have some pictures to prove it!

Death By Beard

The Origins of the Word Gym

Super Soakers

Coffee Sniffers

Urine-Fueled Laundromats

Chameleon Tongues

The Berlin Wall

Benjamin Franklin

Constantinople

Mandatory Adultery

Normandy

Slinkys

Bacon on the Moon

Cats in Space

Benjamin Franklin’s Farting Essay

Trees

Nose Hairs

Belly Buttons

Pee-Tasting Kidneys

The Barreleye Fish

Parakeet Crowding

Sexsomnia

Lincoln’s Voice

The Cream-Colored Woodpecker

The Oldest Known Joke

Strange Mating Rituals

Smuggling Corned Beef Into Space

Seagulls Fed Contraceptives

Brain Freeze

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