19 of the Funniest Tweets from September 19, 2023

Though just about everyone was clowning Hasan Minhaj’s “emotional truths” after last week’s New Yorker piece exposing the lies he tells in his stand-up routines, he has found himself with an unlikely supporter: Whoopi Goldberg. The longtime panelist on The View said “that’s what we do” in reference to her and her fellow comedians telling embellished stories. She went on to justify Minhaj’s actions, arguing, “If you’re gonna hold a comic to the point where you’re gonna check up on stories, you have to understand, a lot of it is not the exact thing that happened because why would we tell exactly what happened? It ain’t that interesting.” In that case, maybe the Patriot Act host, like Goldberg, will be able to land an EGOT for his “emotional truths.”

Elsewhere, Lauren Boebert came forward with some truths of her own. After being removed from a theater for vaping, singing and serving a dry rub in the middle of a regional production of Beetlejuice, the Colorado congressional representative told TMZ that she “learned to check party affiliations” before going on a date. Which begs the question: If he was getting all of that on the first date, what was up for grabs on the second?

Thankfully, the sanctity of the timeline hasn’t been tarnished and the tweets are as funny as ever. This batch includes a five-star Uber Eats driver, a jobseeker’s least favorite phrase and someone who got a vaccine “for fun.”