15 Things You Could Technically Eat in a Pinch

The world is unpredictable. Turn on the news any day and some new fuckin’ thing’s going on that’s all crazy, someone you always thought was great has turned out to be a major asshole and a place you never heard of exploded.

Emergencies of all kinds lurk around the corner, and most of us aren’t equipped to deal with them. What can you do if everything goes to hell and you find yourself trapped at home without any food?

You could… eat… stuff… from your house? Like, not in a surreal kind of way where you just munch into bricks, but there might well be stuff lying around in your house that, while not labeled as food or in any way definable as food, you could eat. 

Note: Absolutely none of these are good ideas. They’re very much in “both my hands are stuck in mouse traps and I need to drive to hospital, guess I’ll steer with my teeth” kind of territory — very, very bad ideas only to be explored if absolutely no other options are available.