13 Celebrated Historical Figures Who Would Be Useless In Bed

Nobody’s good at everything. There are many, many geniuses who can barely catch a ball; exquisite dancers who can’t read for shit. History is laden with incredibly impressive figures who achieved colossal amounts but would be such, such bad lays. Some of them just found the whole idea icky, some felt like they operated on an intellectual level above such base needs and some just never got the chance to get any practice in. :( 

It’s always worth remembering that genius takes many forms. There are libraries, museums and galleries filled with the work of people whose talents manifested in tangibly artistic ways, but the names of plenty of people who never touched a paintbrush but banged like a shithouse door have been lost to history. Here are men whose names will live on forever, but who would deliver you an absolutely terrible experience if, say, you were sharing a tent with them in a storm and got all horny.

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