We Predict Two Things Are Very Likely To Happen On This Week's ‘SNL’
Saturday Night Live’s cold opens long ago evolved into a tired rehash of the week’s current events, giving us a glimpse into the pompous brain of producer Lorne Michaels. “America is waiting for our take on the nation’s troubles!” he must be thinking in his trademark Canadian accent. “We’ll give them the definitive final word on Trump’s trip to the Middle East!”
Nice work if you can get it, James Austin Johnson. Even if the political cold opens usually get SNL off to a lethargic start, they do present an opportunity for a fun drinking game: Take a shot every time SNL makes jokes about the week’s most obvious targets for satire. Here are two timely topics that would likely get everyone drunk during this week’s first seven minutes:
Donald Trump falling asleep on the job
It was a drowsy week for President Trump, and late night piled on, with Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon taking turns tucking him in.
But the Jimmys getting there first hasn’t stopped SNL before. Johnson-as-Trump falling into a deep slumber during a press conference, cabinet meeting or Washington Commanders game sounds about right. Here’s an idea — why not invite Dana Carvey back to reprise his Sleepy Joe Biden? He and Johnson’s Trump could engage in a lethargic debate in which the last man to remain conscious is declared the winner.
Colin Jost’s triumphant return as Pete Hegseth
While Andrew Dismukes took a turn at playing the Secretary of Defense last spring, Jost’s portrayal on the season premiere stood out as the definitive version of the former Fox & Friends talking head.
What a week for Hegseth, in which he allegedly ordered Navy SEALS to “kill everybody” on a suspected Venezuelan drug boat, then threw a Navy admiral under the bus … er, battleship? … for the dubious decision. Hegseth also caught flak for doubling down on his controversies, posting a meme featuring kiddie character Franklin the Turtle firing a rocket launcher at boats.
No one embodies “entitled white-guy douchebag” quite like Jost, who definitely has a sense of humor about the privilege he projects. This is the week to bring back his Hegseth (fingers crossed, Pete doesn’t do worse in the months to come), and the bit would give Johnson a funny foil.
Take a double shot of your favorite hooch if SNL combines Dozy Don and Homicidal Hegseth in the same sketch. And you won’t be alone — Lorne will be throwing back a perfectly chilled glass of Lambrusco underneath the 30 Rock bleachers.