4 Intoxicating Moments in Drunken Talk-Show History
Whenever Dean Martin appeared on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, you could bet on jokes about Martin’s alleged intoxication.
Because “lovable drunk” was Martin’s comic persona, it’s hard to say precisely how sloshed he was — probably somewhere between “not at all” and “Okay, maybe I had a few.” Martin’s not alone — several other talk show guests have shown up plastered over the years. Here are four times drunken guests livened up the conversation…
Danny DeVito
“Danny’s been out all night partying,” Joy Behar told the crowd when DeVito stumbled onto The View in 2006.
“With George,” he giggled, a reference to a night of carousing with Clooney. “I knew it was the last seven limoncellos that were going to get me.”
Things got political, with DeVito describing how he’d break into the White House, then slurring a confession that he hadn’t been back for a while. “I didn’t go after, you know, numb nuts,” he said, referring to George Bush. Then DeVito started slapping himself around, Three Stooges style, while describing how Bush and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld figured out their military plans.
DeVito topped it off by describing how he and Rhea Perlman did the nasty in the Lincoln Bedroom (“Every place in that bedroom was utilized”), before almost throwing up and curling up in Rosie O’Donnell’s lap.
Mark Wahlberg
Graham Norton wasn’t amused when a wasted Wahlberg stopped by in 2013 to promote Broken City.
“Mark Wahlberg was a weird one because when he arrived, he didn’t seem drunk,” Norton told The Independent. “He told me about his film, told me a couple of stories about stunts going wrong or whatever, and then it was only 15 minutes into the show when whatever the hell was in his system really took hold — and it was hell.”
When guests tried to tell stories, smirking Wahlberg would interrupt with nonsense and hop on Norton’s lap. When Michael Fassbender finally got through an anecdote, Norton wondered why there were no disruptions. “I looked over at Mark Wahlberg, and he was asleep.”
Drew Barrymore
Barrymore turned in a sleepy, slurry performance on a 2018 appearance on Watch What Happens Live, and felt terrible in the aftermath of telling Timothy Olyphant he’s a great kisser. “Don’t I feel like a fucking lech!” she said in between gulps of wine.
“I drank too much and I have never forgiven myself, nor will I ever forgive myself,” she told Cohen during a later interview.
Hey, don’t worry about it, said Cohen, a host known for plying his guests with alcohol. “I’m used to people being overserved on my show, and so I don’t even really have a totally clear memory of it,” he confessed. “But you don’t need to apologize to me for being overserved on my show, that happens. You’re in a great club of people.”
Bill Murray
Murray’s night started on David Letterman’s last show in 2015, downing vodka shots with Letterman in celebration of his retirement. Once that taping was finished and he downed more wine with dinner, Murray stumbled — literally — over to the MSNBC set of Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell.
Murray fell out of a chair during his guest appearance, then slurred his words like your new drunken best friend at the next barstool. “You know, you know,” he mumbled to O’Donnell, trying to remember the question. “I think you’re doing great.”