Happy Fourth! Here Are 7 Hilarious Comedy Sketches About What’s Wrong With America
If you pay even the tiniest amount of attention to current events, you might find it hard to feel merely positive about the United States of America. As for celebrating the anniversary of its “founding,” on stolen land, by slaveholders, well, that you might find impossible.
For anyone planning either to skip the parade or cookout — or to attend as its designated cynic/realist — here are seven sketches you can use to “well, actually” anyone who gets a little too enthusiastic about the grand old flag, organized according to national failings only the biggest psychos would try to deny.
Eroding Reproductive Rights
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For decades, even the most rabidly conservative Supreme Court nominees would claim to believe that Roe v. Wade — the decision that legalized abortion — was “settled law.” Three years ago last week, with the verdict on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, we all found out it wasn’t, as the constitutional right to abortion was eliminated and Roe v. Wade (among other decisions) overturned, leaving abortion legislation entirely to be determined at the state level. A few months later, Inside Amy Schumer produced this promo for the state of Colorado, which suddenly had more to recommend it than its natural beauty.
Guns
New immigrants to the U.S. have to learn a lot in order to assimilate into American culture: maybe a new language, their legal rights and responsibilities, how to access services that are available to them. But the toughest lesson they may have to learn is how common mass shootings are, and that there is basically no way to make sure you won’t get killed in one. In this sketch from Alternatino, creator and star Arturo Castro plays a new arrival finding out how little cartels have to do with gun violence here.
Fetishizing the Confederacy
Even people who never called the Civil War “The War of Northern Aggression” or “The Lost Cause” might be buffs who spend their leisure time re-enacting battles, ostensibly because they prize historical accuracy. The thing is, there’s a certain segment of the population that tends to be left out of these events, because acknowledging them would make today’s “soldiers” uncomfortable. This Key & Peele sketch imagines what it might be like if Civil War re-enactments were really accurate.
Inequities in the Carceral System
Officially, everyone is guaranteed equal justice under the law. In practice, however, the carceral system doesn’t always work that way. The thought experiment that underlies this sketch from Chappelle’s Show is: what if white-collar criminals were prosecuted as zealously as people charged with drug offenses, and vice versa.
“Progressive” Capitalism
For the U.S. government (uh…a previous one) to recognize Juneteenth as a national holiday is a positive step toward taking accountability for the shameful stain of slavery. But, like any other holiday on the calendar, it also offers corporations the opportunity to sell its customers products (barely) related to or (spuriously) inspired by it. A Black Lady Sketch Show advises its viewers on how to avoid Doomteenth.
The Red Scare
Not to generalize, but folk singers as a community tend to lean left. Not so Kids in the Hall’s fictional Leslie de Gaulle Trio, showcased in this installment of “Career Ending Moments in Show Business.” While other folk performers sing about this land being your land and my land, or what they might do if they had a hammer, the Trio uses their stage time to sing a passionate anthem about their favorite senator: “Root ’Em Out, Joe.”
White Nationalist Secession
After showdowns, in the ‘90s, at places like Ruby Ridge, the country was gripped by fear of charismatic leaders who might set up compounds, gather acolytes and take up arms against the U.S. government, whose authority they didn’t recognize. Now — when more people associate Waco, Texas with Chip and Joanna Gaines than with David Koresh — it’s a lot easier for people who don’t recognize government authority to just run for office, win and dismantle institutions from the inside, but two decades ago, the gag of this sketch from Mr. Show With Bob & David was that citizens of “independent nations” would want to do the same kinds of things people from older countries do: compete against one another on the uneven parallel bars.