Robert Brockway

Robert Brockway's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Robert Brockway
  • Location: Los Angeles, CA
  • Member Since: October 3rd, 2007
  • Last Seen: May 24th, 2012 12:30 pm
  • Personal tag line: The gentleman's choice for dick jokes.
  • Message board posts: 4,380

About Robert Brockway

I'm an editor and columnist for Cracked.com, which probably means you're looking at this as a precursor to bothering me about something. Before you do, remember that I have a book called "Everything is Going to Kill Everybody" available now at http://www.everythingisgoingtokilleverybody.com, and that bribery works like fucking crazy.

Articles

  1. 9 Major Stories Everyone Got Wrong This Year
    By: Daniel O'Brien, Robert Brockway, Jack O'Brien, Kristi Harrison, David Wong | | 2,048,807 views
  2. 7 Real Car Chases Way Crazier Than Anything in the Movies
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,033,386 views
  3. 5 Works of Legitimate Mad Science Passed Off as Art
    By: Robert Brockway | | 878,321 views
  4. How a Biotech Company Almost Killed The World (With Booze)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 457,178 views
  5. 6 Insanely Awesome Things The 1900s Thought We'd Have by Now
    By: Daniel O'Brien, Robert Brockway | | 1,770,053 views
  6. 5 Awesome Cases of The Internet Owning The Mainstream Media
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,205,023 views
  7. 5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,645,048 views
  8. The 7 Creepiest Real-Life Robots
    By: Robert Brockway | | 734,045 views
  9. 5 Reasons GTA IV Is The Worst Great Game Ever Made
    By: Robert Brockway | | 782,085 views
  10. Science is a Dick: The 5 Most Evil Robots Ever Invented
    By: Robert Brockway | | 837,839 views
  11. 5 Works of Art That Can Probably Kill You
    By: Robert Brockway | | 658,449 views
  12. 5 Movie Martial Artists That Lost a Deathmatch to Dignity
    By: Robert Brockway | | 4,209,571 views
  13. The 5 Current Genetic Experiments Most Likely to Destroy Humanity
    By: Robert Brockway | | 3,098,830 views
  14. 5 Upcoming Comic Book Movies That Must Be Stopped
    By: Robert Brockway | | 4,552,118 views
  15. The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational '80s Songs
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,262,521 views

Columns

  1. 4 Insane Things Nobody Tells You About Riding a Motorcycle
    By: Robert Brockway | | 619,234 views
  2. The 6 Greatest Video Games We'll Never Get to Play
    By: Robert Brockway | | 994,405 views
  3. The 5 Most Badass Man vs. Nature Showdowns Ever Photographed
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,015,824 views
  4. The 5 Stages of Revenge Fantasies Every Man Has Had
    By: Robert Brockway | | 609,767 views
  5. Trying to Stop the World's Greatest Monster: Mario Lopez
    By: Robert Brockway | | 160,024 views
  6. 6 Amazing Indie Video Games That Kickstarter Made Possible
    By: Robert Brockway | | 562,124 views
  7. The Michael Bay Reboot of Ninja Turtles: Explained
    By: Robert Brockway | | 262,633 views
  8. 5 Reasons 'The Walking Dead' Has to Get Better
    By: Robert Brockway | | 709,024 views
  9. Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: The Spy Who Huffed Me
    By: Robert Brockway | | 399,232 views
  10. The 5 Things That Separate Troubled Geniuses from Jerkwads
    By: Robert Brockway | | 660,151 views
  11. 5 Terrifyingly Advanced Ways Animals Know How to Kill
    By: Robert Brockway | | 775,532 views
  12. 5 Attention Deficit Drugs Reviewed (by Taking Them)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 473,703 views
  13. 5 Creepy Ways They're Replacing Humans with Robots
    By: Robert Brockway | | 533,024 views
  14. 4 Realizations That Will Ruin Science Fiction for You
    By: Robert Brockway | | 962,361 views
  15. 4 Ways to Enjoy Nature According to Insane Old Magazines
    By: Robert Brockway | | 409,938 views
  16. How Hollywood Decided to Reboot Classic Children's Tales
    By: Robert Brockway | | 327,959 views
  17. 5 Things You Can Learn about India from Their Action Movies
    By: Robert Brockway | | 605,202 views
  18. 6 Reasons Modern Gaming Doesn't Suck: An Anti-Rant
    By: Robert Brockway | | 735,312 views
  19. 5 Dating Sites for Terrible People to Find Terrible Love
    By: Robert Brockway | | 700,597 views
  20. 5 Reasons New Year's Ruins Everything Great About Drinking
    By: Robert Brockway | | 539,904 views
  21. The Most Insanely Violent Cartoon Ever (Is About the Bible)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 510,713 views
  22. The 6 Most WTF Protesters Ever Photographed
    By: Robert Brockway | | 890,702 views
  23. The 7 Most Hilariously Badass Magazine Covers Ever
    By: Robert Brockway | | 814,669 views
  24. 4 Stunning Revelations An Idiot Has About Running
    By: Robert Brockway | | 675,093 views
  25. 5 Cover Songs That Stole the Show from the Originals
    By: Robert Brockway | | 982,969 views
  26. 5 Personality Flaws Skyrim Forces You To Deal With
    By: Robert Brockway | | 2,257,660 views
  27. 5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles
    By: Robert Brockway | | 946,251 views
  28. Choose Your Own Misadventure: Tripping at a Costume Party
    By: Robert Brockway | | 627,468 views
  29. 5 Ways 'Arkham City' Proves I'm Under Qualified to be Batman
    By: Robert Brockway | | 769,256 views
  30. 5 Real Skills Video Games Have Secretly Been Teaching Us
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,081,514 views
  31. The Pitch Meeting Behind The Worst Movie Idea Ever Approved
    By: Robert Brockway | | 213,356 views
  32. Why We're Obsessed with the Apocalypse
    By: Robert Brockway | | 328,927 views
  33. 5 Steps to Having The Most Badass Funeral Ever
    By: Robert Brockway | | 465,718 views
  34. 5 Surprising Upsides to Getting Married
    By: Robert Brockway | | 960,519 views
  35. 5 Important Childhood Archetypes the Movies Overlooked
    By: Robert Brockway | | 703,164 views
  36. Choose Your Own Drug Fueled Misadventure: F#@% This Cult
    By: Robert Brockway | | 803,607 views
  37. 6 Images of Kids Too Insane to Be Real (That Totally Are)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,566,196 views
  38. Get Free Drugs From Science (And All You Have to Do Is Die!)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 202,977 views
  39. The Most Efficient Way to Do ... Everything
    By: Robert Brockway | | 946,338 views
  40. 5 Amazing Abandoned Wastelands ... Within Walking Distance
    By: Robert Brockway | | 994,110 views
  41. Dumb Things White People Secretly Suspect About Other Races
    By: Robert Brockway | | 612,746 views
  42. 7 Awesome Images That Will Make You Mourn The Space Shuttle
    By: Robert Brockway | | 785,975 views
  43. Cooking with Terrible Horror Movies: The Perfect Omelet
    By: Robert Brockway | | 138,783 views
  44. Plea for Donations to My 'Life Kicked Me In the Balls' Fund
    By: Robert Brockway | | 118,879 views
  45. How to Become an Author, in 5 Incredibly Difficult Steps
    By: Robert Brockway | | 488,366 views
  46. 5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving
    By: Robert Brockway | | 808,428 views
  47. When Video Games Get Stuck In Your Head
    By: Robert Brockway | | 405,294 views
  48. 5 Real-World Mechs Straight out of Science Fiction
    By: Robert Brockway | | 586,305 views
  49. The Brainstorm That Led to Hollywood's Most Unlikely Remake
    By: Robert Brockway | | 264,945 views
  50. The Question You're Not Asking: Should You Go To College?
    By: Robert Brockway | | 413,649 views
  51. The Dangerous Side Effects of Watching Too Much MacGyver
    By: Robert Brockway | | 217,635 views
  52. 5 Bizarre Pitfalls of Owning a Classic Car
    By: Robert Brockway | | 693,661 views
  53. The Actual Live-Action Akira Script: Worse Than You Think
    By: Robert Brockway | | 254,669 views
  54. 5 Urgent Questions About the Live Action 'Akira' Remake
    By: Robert Brockway | | 570,981 views
  55. The 8 Most Ridiculously Badass Protesters Ever Photographed
    By: Robert Brockway | | 2,568,427 views
  56. The Secretly Horrifying Implications of AT&Ts Bandwidth Caps
    By: Robert Brockway | | 320,020 views
  57. Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls
    By: Robert Brockway | | 284,531 views
  58. The 7 Creepiest Robots to See in Action
    By: Robert Brockway | | 431,883 views
  59. The Ulterior Motive of Every Dungeons and Dragons Game
    By: Robert Brockway | | 280,565 views
  60. 5 Most Terrifyingly Homoerotic Japanese Music Videos
    By: Robert Brockway | | 408,993 views
  61. 5 Products That Allow You to Master Your Dreams
    By: Robert Brockway | | 333,992 views
  62. 8 Real Photographs That Prove Hell Exists on Earth
    By: Robert Brockway | | 2,652,712 views
  63. Secondhand Nightmares: 10 Horrifying Thrift Store Finds
    By: Robert Brockway | | 726,395 views
  64. Deadliest Book Report in the History of 4th Grade
    By: Robert Brockway | | 219,131 views
  65. Gor: The Most Ridiculous Nerd Fantasy Ever Filmed
    By: Robert Brockway | | 212,452 views
  66. The 8 G.I. Joes Most Frequently Left In the Box
    By: Robert Brockway | | 488,130 views
  67. 6 Near Death Experiences Caught on Video
    By: Robert Brockway | | 605,375 views
  68. What's Really Delaying Spielberg's Tin Tin Movie? Racism
    By: Robert Brockway | | 188,402 views
  69. If The Characters from 'Street Fighter 2' Got Hammered
    By: Robert Brockway | | 271,030 views
  70. The 8 Manliest Foreign Movie Posters Ever
    By: Robert Brockway | | 298,761 views
  71. The Complete Lunatic's Guide to the 5 Best Sipping Whiskeys
    By: Robert Brockway | | 280,141 views
  72. 6 Ways 'Fallout: New Vegas' Made Me a Worse Person
    By: Robert Brockway | | 731,997 views
  73. The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Moments from Indian Action Movies
    By: Robert Brockway | | 434,573 views
  74. There Was Always That One Kid That Ruined Every D&D Game ...
    By: Robert Brockway | | 288,006 views
  75. The 10-Year-Old's Guide to Fighting
    By: Robert Brockway | | 431,078 views
  76. If Link From Zelda Went On a Bender: A Journey in Screencaps
    By: Robert Brockway | | 384,462 views
  77. Tricks for Celebrating Halloween at Every Stage of Life
    By: Robert Brockway | | 240,275 views
  78. The Monster Inside of Mario Lopez: A Warning
    By: Robert Brockway | | 138,900 views
  79. The 5 Weirdest Drug Experiments Performed on Animals
    By: Robert Brockway | | 665,452 views
  80. 5 Bad Economic Indicators for the Criminally Insane
    By: Robert Brockway | | 255,851 views
  81. If Old School Comics Were Written For (And By) Drunk People
    By: Robert Brockway | | 226,154 views
  82. 5 Classic Movies If They Got Pitched in Hollywood Today
    By: Robert Brockway | | 234,766 views
  83. 7 Bizarre Sounds From Outer Space
    By: Robert Brockway | | 419,402 views
  84. 10 Photos Capturing Moments of Spontaneous Badassery
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,387,371 views
  85. Marriage, Anyone? It Took Me 5 Minutes to Become a Minister
    By: Robert Brockway | | 200,049 views
  86. The Vampire Formula: What Women See In Them
    By: Robert Brockway | | 271,305 views
  87. 10 Mustache Styles That Must Be Stopped
    By: Robert Brockway | | 711,115 views
  88. M. Night Shyamalan is Making a Trilogy. Of Movies. Really.
    By: Robert Brockway | | 329,601 views
  89. Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Flight of Terror
    By: Robert Brockway | | 338,484 views
  90. 5 Bizarre Real Life Gangs That Put The Warriors to Shame
    By: Robert Brockway | | 453,294 views
  91. 5 Real Robots Built To Love You... To Death
    By: Robert Brockway | | 264,528 views
  92. The Sociopath's Guide to Owning and Maintaining Classic Cars
    By: Robert Brockway | | 205,032 views
  93. The 5 Weirdest Products on the Web, One Disturbing Night
    By: Robert Brockway | | 336,332 views
  94. The U.S. Army's Weed Weapon: A Paranoid But True Conspiracy
    By: Robert Brockway | | 214,745 views
  95. 5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,569,404 views
  96. For Dio: The Only Appropriate Tribute
    By: Robert Brockway | | 166,565 views
  97. A Probably True Story About A Now Infamous Moron
    By: Robert Brockway | | 209,492 views
  98. The Meeting That Led to the New JJ Abrams Trailer (Probably)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 99,901 views
  99. Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Adventure: F#@k This Lost World
    By: Robert Brockway | | 156,111 views
  100. Why Ebert Is Wrong: In Defense of Games as Art
    By: Robert Brockway | | 226,768 views
  101. A Pledge to Conan From the Fans Who Got Him Into This Mess
    By: Robert Brockway | | 139,889 views
  102. 5 Amazing New Experimental Drugs I Just Took: A Review
    By: Robert Brockway | | 341,218 views
  103. A Journey Through the Healthcare Apocalypse With Glenn Beck
    By: Robert Brockway | | 149,536 views
  104. EXTRA! Mario Lopez has no soul!
    By: Robert Brockway | | 141,945 views
  105. Why Crimes Would Never Get Solved at a TV Police Station
    By: Robert Brockway | | 216,955 views
  106. Quantum Leap: The R Rated Version
    By: Robert Brockway | | 152,789 views
  107. If The Internet Wins The Nobel: A Proposed Acceptance Speech
    By: Robert Brockway | | 130,390 views
  108. The 6 Most Aggressively Ridiculous Benders in Modern History
    By: Robert Brockway | | 391,902 views
  109. 8 Amazing Stories of Ninja Failure
    By: Robert Brockway | | 351,276 views
  110. Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Dragon Ass, Takin Names
    By: Robert Brockway | | 133,987 views
  111. How Hollywood Decided to Reboot Spider-Man (Probably)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 164,689 views
  112. 5 Real News Items That May Be Supervillain Origin Stories
    By: Robert Brockway | | 341,232 views
  113. Video Game Zoology: How 5 8-Bit Characters Would Really Look
    By: Robert Brockway | | 598,419 views
  114. How to Get your Screenplay Read (Through Physical Violence)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 94,223 views
  115. A Detective Yarn So Clever It Makes Angela Lansbury Look Like A God Damn Mongoloid
    By: Robert Brockway | | 133,226 views
  116. 5 Reasons Die Hard Is The Best Christmas Movie Ever Made
    By: Robert Brockway | | 294,393 views
  117. Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer
    By: Robert Brockway | | 686,354 views
  118. 5 Disturbing Ways the Human Body Will Evolve in the Future
    By: Robert Brockway | | 633,539 views
  119. How Not to Deal With The Red Ring of Death
    By: Robert Brockway | | 230,014 views
  120. My Field Trip to the Large Hadron Collider
    By: Robert Brockway | | 95,793 views
  121. The Cracked.com Open Bar: An Incomplete Recollection
    By: Robert Brockway | | 109,862 views
  122. The 8 Manliest Images on the Internet
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,143,570 views
  123. A Touching Children's Book Written While High
    By: Robert Brockway | | 266,947 views
  124. The 5 Most Badass Things You Could Actually Ride to Work
    By: Robert Brockway | | 393,136 views
  125. Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Sloshed at Sea!
    By: Robert Brockway | | 147,799 views
  126. The Brave Tale of Maxwell the Dinosaur and Dr. Prehistoria
    By: Robert Brockway | | 128,852 views
  127. The 5 Least Sexy Products Money Can Buy=One Terrifying Date
    By: Robert Brockway | | 336,018 views
  128. How to Solve The Healthcare Debate With Violence
    By: Robert Brockway | | 186,660 views
  129. The 3 Most Baffling Fight Scenes in Movie History
    By: Robert Brockway | | 462,427 views
  130. 5 Amazing New Inventions (That Will Doom Humanity)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 745,743 views
  131. Clippy Finally Messes With the Wrong Word Doc
    By: Robert Brockway | | 505,505 views
  132. The Way of the Barbarian: Infusing Your Spiritual Life With Conan
    By: Robert Brockway | | 290,509 views
  133. The Truth Behind 5 'Real Monsters' That Fooled the Internet
    By: Robert Brockway | | 702,488 views
  134. The Evolution of the Troll: From Internet Tough Guy to 'Meh'
    By: Robert Brockway | | 216,791 views
  135. The Holy Bible: A Book Review
    By: Robert Brockway | | 252,777 views
  136. The 5 Most Badass Things Ever Done By Jungle Cats
    By: Robert Brockway | | 349,996 views
  137. A Life-Changing Seminar on Empowerment, Leadership and Boobs
    By: Robert Brockway | | 143,984 views
  138. 5 Reasons Cracked Loves America (A Message to the FBI)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 336,967 views
  139. 5 Kickass Lessons Books Could Learn from the Movies
    By: Robert Brockway | | 340,515 views
  140. Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure: High In Outer Space!
    By: Robert Brockway | | 170,849 views
  141. The CIA's 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD
    By: Robert Brockway | | 951,666 views
  142. If The Characters on 'Lost' Told the Truth
    By: Robert Brockway | | 365,895 views
  143. A Typical Day at the Office, As Told Through Police Reports.
    By: Robert Brockway | | 208,609 views
  144. The Hoverboard Lie: How Back to the Future Ruined Childhood
    By: Robert Brockway | | 291,917 views
  145. The Worst Book Review Ever
    By: Robert Brockway | | 153,408 views
  146. What's Your Zombie Contingency Plan? 11 Practical Strategies
    By: Robert Brockway | | 551,778 views
  147. Transformers 2: Michael Bay's Rejected Script
    By: Robert Brockway | | 219,797 views
  148. Choose Your Own Drug-Fueled Misadventure
    By: Robert Brockway | | 285,980 views
  149. 5 Scientific Reasons People Act Like Assholes
    By: Robert Brockway | | 286,250 views
  150. Rorschach's Journal (On a Boring Night)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 65,532 views
  151. What Happened To Ross?
    By: Robert Brockway | | 46,243 views
  152. The True Stories Behind 5 Famous WTF Images
    By: Robert Brockway | | 1,762,901 views
  153. 3 Scientific Breakthroughs In Real Life Mind Control
    By: Robert Brockway | | 62,420 views
  154. 3 Ridiculous Reasons Cracked Has Rejected My Articles
    By: Robert Brockway | | 40,890 views
  155. The Brief, Tragic Life Of A Cracked Intern
    By: Robert Brockway | | 24,250 views
  156. 5 Bizarre Ways Video Games Are Screwing Up Your Health
    By: Robert Brockway | | 121,103 views
  157. How Not To Write A Cracked Article
    By: Robert Brockway | | 43,223 views
  158. 5 Real Ways to Get High Straight Out of Science Fiction
    By: Robert Brockway | | 738,343 views
  159. Magic Negro-gate: How Liberals Confused Obama With Kazaam
    By: Robert Brockway | | 23,021 views
  160. Insane Messages We're Actually Sending Into Deep Space
    By: Robert Brockway | | 139,699 views
  161. 6 Real Life Supervillains of Christmas
    By: Robert Brockway | | 67,534 views
  162. 7 Images Too Badass To Be Real (That Totally Are)
    By: Robert Brockway | | 310,283 views
  163. 5 Scientific Discoveries That Spell Doom for Your Penis
    By: Robert Brockway | | 136,084 views
  164. The 4 Craziest Right Wing Fears About Obama
    By: Robert Brockway | | 103,097 views
  165. 5 Astounding Advances in the Science of Getting Drunk
    By: Robert Brockway | | 151,994 views
  166. New Column! Holy Shit!
    By: Robert Brockway | | 15,266 views

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